Tuesday, June 28, 2005
whoa.. i am writing. don't get crazy or anything..
i am unemployed. that sucks. but its cool bc here i am, 512 pm, the whooole night ahead of me, with a slurpee and the best boy in the world on his way here to see meeeee.
yesterday was pretty amazing for a rainy day. i stayed at michaels house since he has a/c and it was hot. so he went to work at 845 am and i slept till 1230ish.. got up, smoked a cigarette, took in his mail, emptied the dishwasher, and straightened up his room. i got ideas for dinner and then finall he got home around 5.. he was so happy that i did domestic things for him ha. so we went to the grocery store and got ingredients for baked macaroni and cheese, and we got brownie mix (yum!). went home, i made dinner while he assembled the kitchen table. he argued with his dad, then we had a miserable dinner since mike was mad at his father and his father asked us if he could have some.. so he kinda pouted throughout dinner which made me uncomfortable. then we went outside so i could smoke a cigarette, and i told him that he talks to his dad in a way in which he wouldn't like to be talked to, and that he should be the bigger person blah blah blah. bottom line: he has to move out. but we cannot yet, as i don't know where i will be employed in september and i am broke. so wait it out we shall. anyhow, then we hung around, watched tv etc. it was a nice domestic day. he was really tired so we went to bed around like 1 or 130. i was up later than he.
today was pretty ok, too.. i went to a holocaust workshop my npt teaching buddy fred was giving and we chatted and i helped this guy bill plan some cities trips for next year. blah blah. put in an application at applebee's, which i didn't wanna do but i need to be making the money seeing as i am broke and unemployed. never a good combination.
whoa, joe just signed on aim. i felt like un-awaying for a second, but then i was like.. yah. no. we texted a few weeks ago. he didn't mention his new gf. i didnt mention mike. it felt awkward, but neither of us talked about seeing each other or missing or any of that shit, so thats good. he told me about his upcoming tour, and i talked about how i might move to find a job since there are none here. very tame. he has to know about michael anyway, i mean, i just cant see him not looking at my myspace.. and i told him my kids had found my myspace and were a little obsessed with commenting me, so i am sure he looked. my main picture is mike and i. haha. his new gf seems a little bit of a dork to me. not gorgeous, and sorta immature from the profile. under her interests, she lists "joe" first. she constantly leaves him cutesy comments.. he doesnt leave any back. i mean, he comments, but no frilly xo or any of the adoration that she clearly extends to him. sometimes i hope she breaks his heart. he should know what it feels like. but at the same time, i am so over it that it doesnt even make sense to care. i am in love with a wonderful man who treats me well but also doesnt let me treat him like crap. its a very balanced relationship.. i pull him back to earth, i help him to let things go when they arent important.. he listens and lets me vent and helps me to work through crap.. so its like, well, i am sooo much happier.. why even think about ruining my karma by wishing bad things onto other people?
ugh its 527.. still probably an hour before the boy gets here. marla had this quote in her profile, like "you know its love when you hate being without them more than you like spending time together." haha.. i miss him like crazy when he isnt here. i do not know why. half the time he annoys me when he is here, he's like a space infringer aholic or something.. always hugging on me etc.. which is ok most of the time, but sometimes im like ok enough stop touching me. i anticipate his arrival more than i love him here. ha.
anyway. i shall do crosswords and await the boy. perhaps you will hear from me again soon.. dont hold yr breath though. you know, since we all know that gille sucks when she's actually in love, rather than just pining and feeling unrequited love. ha.
xoxox
i am unemployed. that sucks. but its cool bc here i am, 512 pm, the whooole night ahead of me, with a slurpee and the best boy in the world on his way here to see meeeee.
yesterday was pretty amazing for a rainy day. i stayed at michaels house since he has a/c and it was hot. so he went to work at 845 am and i slept till 1230ish.. got up, smoked a cigarette, took in his mail, emptied the dishwasher, and straightened up his room. i got ideas for dinner and then finall he got home around 5.. he was so happy that i did domestic things for him ha. so we went to the grocery store and got ingredients for baked macaroni and cheese, and we got brownie mix (yum!). went home, i made dinner while he assembled the kitchen table. he argued with his dad, then we had a miserable dinner since mike was mad at his father and his father asked us if he could have some.. so he kinda pouted throughout dinner which made me uncomfortable. then we went outside so i could smoke a cigarette, and i told him that he talks to his dad in a way in which he wouldn't like to be talked to, and that he should be the bigger person blah blah blah. bottom line: he has to move out. but we cannot yet, as i don't know where i will be employed in september and i am broke. so wait it out we shall. anyhow, then we hung around, watched tv etc. it was a nice domestic day. he was really tired so we went to bed around like 1 or 130. i was up later than he.
today was pretty ok, too.. i went to a holocaust workshop my npt teaching buddy fred was giving and we chatted and i helped this guy bill plan some cities trips for next year. blah blah. put in an application at applebee's, which i didn't wanna do but i need to be making the money seeing as i am broke and unemployed. never a good combination.
whoa, joe just signed on aim. i felt like un-awaying for a second, but then i was like.. yah. no. we texted a few weeks ago. he didn't mention his new gf. i didnt mention mike. it felt awkward, but neither of us talked about seeing each other or missing or any of that shit, so thats good. he told me about his upcoming tour, and i talked about how i might move to find a job since there are none here. very tame. he has to know about michael anyway, i mean, i just cant see him not looking at my myspace.. and i told him my kids had found my myspace and were a little obsessed with commenting me, so i am sure he looked. my main picture is mike and i. haha. his new gf seems a little bit of a dork to me. not gorgeous, and sorta immature from the profile. under her interests, she lists "joe" first. she constantly leaves him cutesy comments.. he doesnt leave any back. i mean, he comments, but no frilly xo or any of the adoration that she clearly extends to him. sometimes i hope she breaks his heart. he should know what it feels like. but at the same time, i am so over it that it doesnt even make sense to care. i am in love with a wonderful man who treats me well but also doesnt let me treat him like crap. its a very balanced relationship.. i pull him back to earth, i help him to let things go when they arent important.. he listens and lets me vent and helps me to work through crap.. so its like, well, i am sooo much happier.. why even think about ruining my karma by wishing bad things onto other people?
ugh its 527.. still probably an hour before the boy gets here. marla had this quote in her profile, like "you know its love when you hate being without them more than you like spending time together." haha.. i miss him like crazy when he isnt here. i do not know why. half the time he annoys me when he is here, he's like a space infringer aholic or something.. always hugging on me etc.. which is ok most of the time, but sometimes im like ok enough stop touching me. i anticipate his arrival more than i love him here. ha.
anyway. i shall do crosswords and await the boy. perhaps you will hear from me again soon.. dont hold yr breath though. you know, since we all know that gille sucks when she's actually in love, rather than just pining and feeling unrequited love. ha.
xoxox
Saturday, June 11, 2005
i am the worst friend ever. yesterday was katie's birthday and i forgot to call her. ugh.
i am still in love. i guess this is it for me. marriage, babies. im cool with that.
otherwise, i have to go. im tired. napping at 1030am is super awesome!
i am still in love. i guess this is it for me. marriage, babies. im cool with that.
otherwise, i have to go. im tired. napping at 1030am is super awesome!
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