Wednesday, September 15, 2004
miss me? im a teacher now.
oh, and for some reason, when i look at my blog, and i check out my traffic, this computer's IP address comes up.. when its not me.. which makes me MUY unhappy, which makes me NOT want to post. you know, someone in my house stalking my blog without telling me.. not cool!
now i go. paper journal is the safest method these days.
oh, and for some reason, when i look at my blog, and i check out my traffic, this computer's IP address comes up.. when its not me.. which makes me MUY unhappy, which makes me NOT want to post. you know, someone in my house stalking my blog without telling me.. not cool!
now i go. paper journal is the safest method these days.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
brown is supposed to be my lucky color this week.
soooo. i just got a call from derek, he sounded slightly drunk, he was calling me to tell me that he was at sway, and he asked if i remembered sway.. i said i did and i laughed.. he said he was hanging out with justin and it sounded like someone from the stones, which is like their favorite band, so i wouldnt be surprised. derek seems to have celeb time all the time.. he said he couldnt hear me, but he wanted to know when we are going to atlantic city.. i was trying to explain to him that my car is being fixed, but he couldnt hear me bc it was so loud there, and he said hed call me tomorrow, then he said i should call him tomorrow.. i miss him. it made me so happy to hear from him.. i asked if he worked tomorrow, and he said no, but that if i wanted to go see him at work, i could find him selling his poetry on the street for a dollar.. it was funny bc the last time we smoked a cigarette together at chevys, this guy came up to us and asked us to buy his poetry, and so derek did, and it was about how snitches should be shot. it was supposed to be serious, i guess, but we laughed for a long time. i felt really good that he called, it made me feel special and sort of missed, cos he really had nothing to say, but was thinking of me. i cant wait till my car is back on the road, then we can go to atlantic city and have a lot of fun and drink a lot and all that. i was thinking about going to the city tomorrow, but then i remembered that candace is going to wisconsin for her nephews christening, so i really dont have a place to stay. perhaps i will mention it to derek tomorrow, and if he offers that i could stay with him, im soooo there. hes such a good cuddler.. and it would make it WAY easier for me to withhold the physical stuff from the enigma boy if i see him tuesday if i get some tomorrow!!
speaking of.. so i fuckin texted him today to see if he wanted to hang out for some stupid reason.. he didnt respond for like an hour, so i resent it, and he responded that he couldnt be he was upstate. which is retarded, seeing as he was there like 4 days ago, but whatever.. so yah. then he said he would be home next week, if that was cool.. i said ok, and that i start school tues.. he said he should be back tuesday, so maybe we could get together after school. this would really be optimal. the perfect way things would work out would be for me to stay up late monday night, and be really tired tuesday.. i could get home at like 4 or so, and call him.. perhaps rent a movie, have some food.. come back here, throw on the movie, and then, oops! fall asleep. see how he likes that.. i bet he wouldnt. i bet he would be upset that he didnt get any. i really want that to happen. which is why id really like to hook up with someone else in the meantime..
yo, i could soooooo go for a smoke right now, but its really cold out and im in pajamas.. and is 320 am.. ugh. i hate not being able to smoke inside!! i spent the evening at katies house, which is a smoking environment, so i could smoke all i wanted. we read trash magazines, such as star and the enquirer, and watched lifetime movies and other assorted fun things. i am presently watching court tv, i love this channel. the investigation channel!! this show thats on is not exciting, however.
alright. im going to bed. perhaps i will get up by noon.. clean my room some more, hang up some clothes, etc.. ill call derek in the afternoon, mention that id wanted to come into the city but had no place to crash.. see if he offers. if not, i will probably call michael and go see garden state again. if i go to the city, i might go see mike and the movie on my way home sunday.. we shall see. sweet dreams, world..
soooo. i just got a call from derek, he sounded slightly drunk, he was calling me to tell me that he was at sway, and he asked if i remembered sway.. i said i did and i laughed.. he said he was hanging out with justin and it sounded like someone from the stones, which is like their favorite band, so i wouldnt be surprised. derek seems to have celeb time all the time.. he said he couldnt hear me, but he wanted to know when we are going to atlantic city.. i was trying to explain to him that my car is being fixed, but he couldnt hear me bc it was so loud there, and he said hed call me tomorrow, then he said i should call him tomorrow.. i miss him. it made me so happy to hear from him.. i asked if he worked tomorrow, and he said no, but that if i wanted to go see him at work, i could find him selling his poetry on the street for a dollar.. it was funny bc the last time we smoked a cigarette together at chevys, this guy came up to us and asked us to buy his poetry, and so derek did, and it was about how snitches should be shot. it was supposed to be serious, i guess, but we laughed for a long time. i felt really good that he called, it made me feel special and sort of missed, cos he really had nothing to say, but was thinking of me. i cant wait till my car is back on the road, then we can go to atlantic city and have a lot of fun and drink a lot and all that. i was thinking about going to the city tomorrow, but then i remembered that candace is going to wisconsin for her nephews christening, so i really dont have a place to stay. perhaps i will mention it to derek tomorrow, and if he offers that i could stay with him, im soooo there. hes such a good cuddler.. and it would make it WAY easier for me to withhold the physical stuff from the enigma boy if i see him tuesday if i get some tomorrow!!
speaking of.. so i fuckin texted him today to see if he wanted to hang out for some stupid reason.. he didnt respond for like an hour, so i resent it, and he responded that he couldnt be he was upstate. which is retarded, seeing as he was there like 4 days ago, but whatever.. so yah. then he said he would be home next week, if that was cool.. i said ok, and that i start school tues.. he said he should be back tuesday, so maybe we could get together after school. this would really be optimal. the perfect way things would work out would be for me to stay up late monday night, and be really tired tuesday.. i could get home at like 4 or so, and call him.. perhaps rent a movie, have some food.. come back here, throw on the movie, and then, oops! fall asleep. see how he likes that.. i bet he wouldnt. i bet he would be upset that he didnt get any. i really want that to happen. which is why id really like to hook up with someone else in the meantime..
yo, i could soooooo go for a smoke right now, but its really cold out and im in pajamas.. and is 320 am.. ugh. i hate not being able to smoke inside!! i spent the evening at katies house, which is a smoking environment, so i could smoke all i wanted. we read trash magazines, such as star and the enquirer, and watched lifetime movies and other assorted fun things. i am presently watching court tv, i love this channel. the investigation channel!! this show thats on is not exciting, however.
alright. im going to bed. perhaps i will get up by noon.. clean my room some more, hang up some clothes, etc.. ill call derek in the afternoon, mention that id wanted to come into the city but had no place to crash.. see if he offers. if not, i will probably call michael and go see garden state again. if i go to the city, i might go see mike and the movie on my way home sunday.. we shall see. sweet dreams, world..
Friday, September 03, 2004
im tired. im disillusioned. im laying on my bed typing this. not easy, just so you know.. today was alright i guess. i went to the mall and spent $400 on school clothes. that was the money i had been saving for a vacation. im not happy about this. i have to look professional, though, so its all for the best, im sure.
its very cold.
so i finally got a response from the boy today (he hadnt responded to my texts since tuesday night) and he claimed to have responded to all the texts i sent him, but he was having problems with texts going though north of 25a, which is where he has been. then i asked if he had any free time coming up, and he magically had a "problem" again, i guess, cos i didnt hear back from him. either the phone gods dont want us to hang out, or hes a liar. i would put my money on the latter. he can pretty much go fuck himself right now. when i was in brooklyn and he was on tour or he was on li, all he could talk about was how bad he wanted to see me, and he missed me, and he wanted me all the time.. but now i have been living 15 minutes away from him for 6 days and he has attempted to hang out with me exactly no times. im not stupid, you know.
i heard from kim on tuesday, she texted me saying she was back on the wagon due to friday night's insanity. she claims not to remember most of friday night, and was sick all day saturday. i told that to lee today and he was like "shes lying! theres no way she doesnt remember friday night!" but whatever. she called me and i said i was driving so she could call me later.. she didnt though. i was reallllllly upset tuesday night, i called her after i was on the phone with mike, crying, for like an hour, bc of the stupid enigma boy.. and she could tell i was upset but i didnt wanna talk about it, bc right now she is not on my good list.. she is on my shitlist. she wanted to hang out today, but my truck needed a new radiator and had to go to the shop, so i hung out with michael, who is sleeping, instead. she cant drive on highways, and i obviously couldnt go out there.. oh well. i actually still havent heard from her. whatever though.
blah blah blah.
im tired and depressed, im going to bed.
its very cold.
so i finally got a response from the boy today (he hadnt responded to my texts since tuesday night) and he claimed to have responded to all the texts i sent him, but he was having problems with texts going though north of 25a, which is where he has been. then i asked if he had any free time coming up, and he magically had a "problem" again, i guess, cos i didnt hear back from him. either the phone gods dont want us to hang out, or hes a liar. i would put my money on the latter. he can pretty much go fuck himself right now. when i was in brooklyn and he was on tour or he was on li, all he could talk about was how bad he wanted to see me, and he missed me, and he wanted me all the time.. but now i have been living 15 minutes away from him for 6 days and he has attempted to hang out with me exactly no times. im not stupid, you know.
i heard from kim on tuesday, she texted me saying she was back on the wagon due to friday night's insanity. she claims not to remember most of friday night, and was sick all day saturday. i told that to lee today and he was like "shes lying! theres no way she doesnt remember friday night!" but whatever. she called me and i said i was driving so she could call me later.. she didnt though. i was reallllllly upset tuesday night, i called her after i was on the phone with mike, crying, for like an hour, bc of the stupid enigma boy.. and she could tell i was upset but i didnt wanna talk about it, bc right now she is not on my good list.. she is on my shitlist. she wanted to hang out today, but my truck needed a new radiator and had to go to the shop, so i hung out with michael, who is sleeping, instead. she cant drive on highways, and i obviously couldnt go out there.. oh well. i actually still havent heard from her. whatever though.
blah blah blah.
im tired and depressed, im going to bed.
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