Wednesday, February 22, 2006
back.
weird to say that.. maybe just this once. i don't know.
i know what i'm doing here, because these were always my words to you.
its been a long time. haven't seen you in over a year. wow.
and we haven't really communicated (but i read yr away messages).
i learned to forget you for a while, but for some reason you are sort of back. in my head.
"3 libras" on the mix cd i made forever ago brought a twinge. i felt my heart strings pull as i was flashed back to the platform of the path train in newark, texting you, "listen to 3 libras" and breaking down. ... that led me back to the time you came to brooklyn, the time when we hadn't seen each other in over four years, and we had pizza, and i showed you stuff from 1997, and you untwisted that paper clip. then suddenly it was the anticipation, the night you texted me that you wanted to come over to watch a movie and make out. i said yes to the movie, no to the makeout. but the anticipation. the feeling the next time you came over, the couch, the movie, the dance we did with our fingers as they inched into intermeshing so slightly, so slowly.. the way you were laying on the couch, oh so conveniently when i came back from the bathroom.. the tearing in my head that you HAD A GIRLFRIEND... but the electricity. it zapped me. and i swear i fell in love with you.
i was reading this book, and the heroine really annoyed me. like really annoyed me. because she was me. "they never leave their wives." yah. and when they leave their wives/gfs, they still don't want you. it made me so mad to look at myself, and you, but after that, there came the tugging of the good memories, the butterflies.. and the initial butterflies, the feeling that i got when we listed to "hands down" and you kissed me in front of candace and it just meant so fucking much to me (but it really meant nothing).
do you miss me?
the urges to contact you are not frequent, but are high in intensity. i want to feel that electricity again. the kind that starts in yr belly and spreads through every inch of yr body. i don't care if that's only lust.. i loved that feeling. and i still love it, every time i imagine those moments. or when i hear a song i associate with you. or anything...
its a war, i'm at war. with the tingles and the tears. i am not forgetting all the pain. i still will not contact you.. but i have to admit....
(sometimes i miss you)
weird to say that.. maybe just this once. i don't know.
i know what i'm doing here, because these were always my words to you.
its been a long time. haven't seen you in over a year. wow.
and we haven't really communicated (but i read yr away messages).
i learned to forget you for a while, but for some reason you are sort of back. in my head.
"3 libras" on the mix cd i made forever ago brought a twinge. i felt my heart strings pull as i was flashed back to the platform of the path train in newark, texting you, "listen to 3 libras" and breaking down. ... that led me back to the time you came to brooklyn, the time when we hadn't seen each other in over four years, and we had pizza, and i showed you stuff from 1997, and you untwisted that paper clip. then suddenly it was the anticipation, the night you texted me that you wanted to come over to watch a movie and make out. i said yes to the movie, no to the makeout. but the anticipation. the feeling the next time you came over, the couch, the movie, the dance we did with our fingers as they inched into intermeshing so slightly, so slowly.. the way you were laying on the couch, oh so conveniently when i came back from the bathroom.. the tearing in my head that you HAD A GIRLFRIEND... but the electricity. it zapped me. and i swear i fell in love with you.
i was reading this book, and the heroine really annoyed me. like really annoyed me. because she was me. "they never leave their wives." yah. and when they leave their wives/gfs, they still don't want you. it made me so mad to look at myself, and you, but after that, there came the tugging of the good memories, the butterflies.. and the initial butterflies, the feeling that i got when we listed to "hands down" and you kissed me in front of candace and it just meant so fucking much to me (but it really meant nothing).
do you miss me?
the urges to contact you are not frequent, but are high in intensity. i want to feel that electricity again. the kind that starts in yr belly and spreads through every inch of yr body. i don't care if that's only lust.. i loved that feeling. and i still love it, every time i imagine those moments. or when i hear a song i associate with you. or anything...
its a war, i'm at war. with the tingles and the tears. i am not forgetting all the pain. i still will not contact you.. but i have to admit....
(sometimes i miss you)
Subscribe to Comments [Atom]