is it too late to heal?

blah tonight. work was really funny, but also really dead and i made no money at all. but i made it fun, as usual. ok, so there is this busboy, rene, and he tells me loves me all the time, and i tell him that he doesnt even know me, let alone love me. but he always asks me "why you won't try me?" and i'm like "ugh rene." so. i had no tables for a while and i was randomly riding the elevator up and down. a bunch of times, i happened to get in with the food runner, walter. so rene got jealous, and accused me of having "secret appointments in the elevator with walter." apparently he had been monitering my elevator use, and took note that a lot of the time, it was with walter. he spread this "scandal" around to everyone working. but he was legitimately running food, and taking the elevator back to the kitchen. it just happened that we'd get in there together. then we really started having secret appointments. we'd go in and hold hands in front of rene, and ride it up and then back down together. it was funny.
then i went to the diner with gabe and ate some mashed potatoes, and then i took a taxi home.
and then i thought of you, and i guess it made me laugh a little, bc i was reading my entry from yesterday and i realized that i kept you a secret, and that probably very few people even know who i was talking to. and its also funny that i talk to you, like you might actually see this. it's silly how we all talk to people like they might hear us, or write like they might read it. who knows maybe you'll stumble upon this. i'd probably be embarassed.
i have to go to school early tomorrow, so i guess maybe i should sleep but i will amuse myself with a crossword puzzle first. must stimulate brain...