is it too late to heal?

i had a really good weekend. friday night was work, bleh, but not too bad. saturday i worked as well, but then i went to long island to go to my dads house. we had birthday cake for nick (my step brother), then my bro and i went to applebee's with his girlfriend and her brother. on the way home, my brother was listening to rancid, and he told me that he had forgotten how much he loved punk, so i was like "don't forget your roots!" H2O style-y (how 1997 of me), and then we listened to h2o and waved our fingers all hardcore-like. it was a lot of fun.. i told him "i know i raised you better than for you to forget yr punk rock roots!" sometimes i wish it was still 1997, and that shows were still good.. but i don't know, its weird now. bands like the movielife and the glassjaw and brand new and taking back sunday.. i used to know those kids, i used to hang out with them all the time. i went to the movielife's first show, i have their first t-shirt (which i still wear bc its red and i like red), and their first demo, which i made jamie gates listen to senior of high school all the time. when i was in cali three years ago, my friends boyfriend was listening to the glassjaw and i was like.. "WHAT? you live in berkeley, how do you know this band??" then last summer i was sitting on nicks couch and i saw their video. it was bizarre. then last week i was watching carson or something, and brand new were on! i was like.. i KNOW THESE KIDS AAAAAH. and kim said that she was watching mtv and matt pinfield said that long island is the next seattle and i wanted to die laughing. maybe i should start going to shows again. hahaha.
anyway, so i watched discovery channel all night.. it's times like those where i realllly wish we could get cable. but alas, no funds. anyway so i woke up this morning, and i put on my h2o shirt for shits and giggles.. and my momma took us apple picking at lewins farm, and then we got some pumpkins. we went home and we made 3 apple pies and a peach pie. i had a lot of fun. antonia came by for dinner, we went to my dads house, where he bugged me about getting my shit together so i can be certified on time to apply for teaching jobs in december. so he made me mad, and we went back to my mothers to have pie (it was soo good, i think i should just drop everything and be a mom, i love being domestic all the sudden).
i'm going to roseland tomorrow to get our alkaline tickets.. candace and i are going. i guess john and ryan and murty want to go also, but they havent given me money and i can't afford to get a shitload of tickets. i feel bad, i should totally get murty a ticket bc he gave me his when we went to see them in may.. since i got robbed by a scalper and he felt bad.. but i dunno. i be brizoke.
anyway so im out now. i have to .. well, i don't have anything to do, being that it's 130 am. but. i dont know, i should maybe write in my real journal, bc im thinking about the boy that i am not supposed to think about, and i must remind myself about the new policy of emotional celibacy.. adios.