is it too late to heal?

i'm happy. today was a pretty good day, kim finally talked to me and apologized and we went to the diner after work with jenna and bugno, which was fun. work was slow and boring, but i got to socialize, which is usually more fun than being busy.
ok. so i totally have a crush. only i'm going to be secretive about it bc i'm lame like that. i talked to kim about it on the subway coming home, and she was laughing at me, she was like "i was waiting for you to say something!!" he's kinda adorable, and funny, and i dont know, just adorable. there are so many things that are totally holding me back, but i will see what happens. i really don't want to get involved with anyone right now, bc i want to move in august, and i don't want anything to tie me down to nyc. i so need to get out of here, its been almost SIX YEARS, and i need a change of scenery. i mean, i left manhattan for booklyn, but i still work in manhattan, and even though i go to jersey two nights a week, its newark, which is just like being in nyc.. and i don't wanna put myself out there, and i don't want things to get weird if it doesnt work out, because i think this kid is rad, and i don't want things to become awkward. kim was telling me i should ask him out, but i so don't want to make the first move. i can't even imagine the idea of rejection right now, i think it would totally bruise my ego, even though all signs point to he likes me. he's always like "thats my heart" and points to my tattoo, and gives me good hugs, and other silly things.. the other day he asked if i had a boyfriend, and i was like "blaaaahhh" and i waved my hand. he's like two and a half years younger than me though, which is totally weird to me, but then chaz was a year and a half younger than me, and at least he's 21, cos then we can go out hahaha. and he's tall, which is goooood, i haven't dated a tall boy since fuckin 1996, kurt was the last tall boy. but anyway i need to keep my head straight about this, bc i soo don't have time for a boyfriend, working five days and going to school the other two. i don't know though, maybe i should just have fun. would that even be possible? to explain this all to him, and then potentially break his heart when i leave or when i realize that this isn't the time for me to be involved in something that requires time and energy and care? i guess it's all up to fate.....