is it too late to heal?

meh. kim and i are still fighting.. for lack of a better word. cos we're actually not *fighting* but things are not okay. last week i said that she'd stood me up.. so i saw her at work the next day and she kind of avoided me in the locker area, then she was like "i have to talk to you." so ok. during our shift everything was alright, we were friendly, but we def weren't friends. we were both in the bathroom after our shift, and she said she wanted to call me that night to talk to me. so i said ok, and she never called. and she still hasn't called. its like the sixth night in a row. we both worked this morning, and we were friendly again, but also not friends. i mean, we were friends, it wasn't like we were strangers, but we also weren't talking like we usually do. its hard to explain. we weren't talking about anything that wasn't superficial, and we weren't talking often. i pointed out a mullet at the bar, and then i pointed out some guy who had plumbers crack showing.. and we laughed about customers. but we didn't talk about us or our lives, which is usually all we talk about. or boys. it was kinda funny though, bc i was feeling silly this morning, and i decided to start scandal. so i told everyone that since both kim and walter were late, they were sleeping together. then they walked in like seconds apart, and i was like "SEE!!!" when she got there, people told her, and she started telling everyone that walter and i have secret appointments in the elevator. that was pretty funny, bc i was mad at him today, and i got in the elevator to get some guac, and he got in too, and everyone was pointing. i was trying sooo hard not to laugh bc i was trying to keep a mean face in the elevator. it made work fun. there would be random notes all in the side stations, like "gille + walter." but getting back to the original deal here.. so i guess this kid chris said something to kim about our falling out, and she told him that she wants to apologize and talk to me, but that shes scared to. which i understand, bc she hates confrontation, but at the same time, the longer she waits to call and be like "you know, what i'm sorry," the more i think she doesn't really care. it's hard, bc we fought back in may, and it was kinda the first time we argued, and she didnt know that when im upset i shut off and have nothing to say, and took it as silent treatment, and there was stuff going on that she didn't tell me about, and blah blah it all boiled down to a lot of miscommunication.. but she told me that she would have just walked away had i not emailed her like "ok what the fuck?" because she finds it easier to walk away rather than face confrontation. that makes it hard for me, bc i have nothing to apologize for, and there is no reason for me to call her and talk about things. this is her time. i guess chris said that she told him she was sorry, and that she is going to call me.. he was like "you know her, you know its hard." and i do, but like i said.. i'm not mad, nor was i mad, but i get mad when i realize that its taken her a week to let me know whats going on with her, why she stood me up.. why she hasn't called even though she said she wanted to talk. whatever though. there is nothing i can do right now.
the yankees are about to win game 2. so i shall watch the rest of the game, and then perhaps i'll watch say anything, which i rented with candace last night. i wonder if she's coming home. they turned the heat on today! YAY! goodnight.