is it too late to heal?

there is so much going on in my head right now, and im struggling to find words to describe the thoughts or the feelings, but there are no ways to express any of it. i hate you, but i miss you, and i feel this incredible connection to you that makes it so hard for me to just let go already. i'm in love with our story, with the movie like aspects, the way it unraveled and then came together. is this another twist in the plot? you tell me you miss me, you sent me a hug yesterday. i miss you too, i really miss you. but i could be in the same room with you, and i'd still miss you. i miss the magic, the electricity i felt as i laid beside you, with my head on yr chest. i felt at peace falling asleep with you, i never felt alone or scared or bored or anything other than light and peaceful. i haven't seen you in a month and half. we haven't fallen asleep together since june. so much time has elapsed yet nothing has changed, it hasn't turned off inside me.. although i try all the time to extinguish the flame i hold for you. i can't even think about seeing you again without this huge, delirious smile taking over my entire face, and the butterflies erupting in my belly. i imagine you coming here and me just smiling and hugging you and watching all my worries melt away, id forget that i hate school and that i'm broke and that i hate my job if you were here. i can't concentrate on anything except bathing in the warmth of delight. but who even knows when our paths will cross again? you are always on the road or at work, and of course making time for her is more priority than spending a night in bliss with me. she must be beautiful, or a fabulous girl. i refuse to believe either, but it must be something......
but maybe these feelings aren't limited to you. maybe they are a product of our history, and the magnetism that has kept us coming back, kept us thinking of each other since the minute we met. ... and if i stop, ever thinking of you, i'll probly choke on the words i never said ... there is no question in my mind that we have an unbelievable connection, and that this saga will never end. i will always have some kind of feelings for you, you will always be a combination of my favorite mistake and the one that got away. but perhaps it can be recreated with another. and even if not, i'll always have the fact that i felt this way once, and thats better than to have never had an indescribable feelings about anyone ever.