Tuesday, October 28, 2003
why do you feel the need to unburden yr misguided affections on me? to tell me i'm amazing, i'm incredible, i'm awesome, when you want to be with someone else? to insist that you only wanted to be with me because you like me, you've always liked me.. but then just apologize. why do you play with my mind and make it feel like i'm going to explode inside? YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER. YOU DON'T LIKE ME, YOU LIKED MY BODY. so what else is new? do you like to pretend that what we had meant something, meant anything, to you? every time that you assert how you still care about me, it makes me feel more like yr making excuses for yrself, to try to redeem what happened. what if i coalesced? what if i caved in and allowed myself to see you? would you be able to sit on the couch with me, and pretend that there is nothing there? GET OUT OF MY HEAD, STOP PLAYING WITH ME... the truth is, i don't trust myself with you. i can't guarentee to myself that if we were to hang out, i wouldn't kiss you back or let things take their course if you tried.
i'm trying to move on, but every time i take a step you reel me back, like you know i'm gravitating away and you want to regain some kind of assurance that if things don't work out with her, i'll give you another chance. but you know what? i'm gonna move on. i'm going to forget you, and have fun with other guys, and be happy on MY TERMS.
lets turn this to a more.. sinister note. halloween is friday. we have big plans.. no HUGE plans. kim and i are working, and we are allowed to dress up, so we are going to be hot, slutty girls. i'm going to be a school girl.. but not a good girl. i'm going to iron my hair and wear a ton of black sparkly eyeliner with a short skirt and knees highs and a tight white shirt with black bra.. that girl who leaves school, immediately lights a cigarette and goes to find trouble.. that rich bitch girl who hates her life and seeks pleasure through being a slut. you know. we haven't quite figured out what kims costume is going to be, but apparently we are in competition to see who can be hotter. who even cares though.. we get prepositioned by our male coworkers for threesomes all the time in our regular uniforms.. imagine the hormones that will rage if we have on short skirts? besides, when one of us looks hot, we both look hot, so it will all be to our advantage. i'm telling you, it will be pure evil. everyone is getting dressed up, im bringing candy and crap like that, so its going to feel like a bizarre quasi halloween party. and i can't wait.
i'm trying to move on, but every time i take a step you reel me back, like you know i'm gravitating away and you want to regain some kind of assurance that if things don't work out with her, i'll give you another chance. but you know what? i'm gonna move on. i'm going to forget you, and have fun with other guys, and be happy on MY TERMS.
lets turn this to a more.. sinister note. halloween is friday. we have big plans.. no HUGE plans. kim and i are working, and we are allowed to dress up, so we are going to be hot, slutty girls. i'm going to be a school girl.. but not a good girl. i'm going to iron my hair and wear a ton of black sparkly eyeliner with a short skirt and knees highs and a tight white shirt with black bra.. that girl who leaves school, immediately lights a cigarette and goes to find trouble.. that rich bitch girl who hates her life and seeks pleasure through being a slut. you know. we haven't quite figured out what kims costume is going to be, but apparently we are in competition to see who can be hotter. who even cares though.. we get prepositioned by our male coworkers for threesomes all the time in our regular uniforms.. imagine the hormones that will rage if we have on short skirts? besides, when one of us looks hot, we both look hot, so it will all be to our advantage. i'm telling you, it will be pure evil. everyone is getting dressed up, im bringing candy and crap like that, so its going to feel like a bizarre quasi halloween party. and i can't wait.
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