Saturday, December 06, 2003
i think there might be a bug on the wall above candace's door. she isn't here. i dont really want it to move. i want it to be just an imperfection in the wall. i hate bugs.
ive been eating non stop since i got home from work. i took a shower, and then i ate a can of minestrone. then in a little i had half a big grab of smartfood. a little while ago i had a big bowl of lucky charms, and i just finished eating half a baby vanilla hagan daaz. maybe its just because its snowing out. i am so bored. i feel full but i wanna keep eating. its only 10pm and snl doesnt come on till 1130. then i guess ill go to bed. no one is online. i was hoping people would be on bc its snowy and no one should be out doing stuff, esp on li, where 99% of the people i talk to on aim live. im cold.
the people upstairs are driving me crazy. thats definitely a roach on the wall. ugh. it hasnt moved but i had to get up to fix the bunny ears. ick. its not a big scary one, but im not gonna kill it right now bc i hate the smell of raid. itll have to move and make me nervous for that. the news just said that there have been 300 accidents on li today and yesterday due to the snow. therefore i think my friends should stop being out and come talk to meee. i need to change the channel but i dont think the news is on any other channels. fox five comes in really bad. it kinda skips a lot of the time. but i wanna watch the news.
so i dont know. i worked today and last night and blah blah. i think mr cockroach has changed position. not quite moved but perhaps turned slightly. it might soon be time to approach him with death spray. i hate bugs! ugh.
thought about the usual boy today. i kept hearing his voice in my head, things he's said, things i imagined him saying. its always so beautiful. like the perfect boy voice. it sounds like the way i feel when he brushes the hair out of my face. this quasi exhileration. i cant explain.
the roach is now dead. it has been flushed. my throat is scratchy from the raid. ew. i hate raid. i constantly worry that its going to kill me. it *is* poison, you know.
BLIZZARD OF 03! CRAZY! my nose is bothering me. i hate steam heat. i wish i was at the diner. with a toasted english muffin, dripping with strawberry jam. or maybe two eggs fried with runny yolks on white toast. with american cheese. and a cup of coffee. and a vanilla coke no ice. mmm.. this is what i most look forward to in moving back to long island.
i keep typing because i have no one to talk to. i feel like im having a one sided conversation. mostly because i am. i should have worked tonight. i was going to pick up a shift bc a lot of people wanted to leave, esp jersey people, bc they were worried that they wouldnt be able to get home tonight. i just didnt feel like being there late. i made $110 today, so i didnt care, i just wanted to come home. but like i said, all my chevys people were working, antonia was going to li.. candace is at susans, its snowy so none of the li kids are hanging out. boo. i thought i would go out tonight, i changed shifts with jenna for the morning so i could work tomorrow night instead. blah.
there is some kind of sporting event on every single channel. or commercials. which will prob return to sports. football. ugh. or this muppet crap on channel 4. i guess its a christmas special. but crap, nonetheless. ive effectively killed 40 minutes. sitting here. staring at the roach. the heat is coming back on. its all loud and bang-y. oh my god its whoopie.
... lets me and you run away together. or hole away, cuddled up in my bed. lets pretend the world stopped, like they dont need us to pay bills or go to work or take care of anything. lets just spend days upon days curling up and playing and sleeping and kissing and laughing and touching. ill rub yr belly, ill scratch yr back, you can push my hair out of my face or press yr belly against mine. or we could get in the car and drive till we reach some beautiful place where we can be whatever we want, whoever we want. so what do you say? lets me and you run away together ...
ok enough. mwah.
ive been eating non stop since i got home from work. i took a shower, and then i ate a can of minestrone. then in a little i had half a big grab of smartfood. a little while ago i had a big bowl of lucky charms, and i just finished eating half a baby vanilla hagan daaz. maybe its just because its snowing out. i am so bored. i feel full but i wanna keep eating. its only 10pm and snl doesnt come on till 1130. then i guess ill go to bed. no one is online. i was hoping people would be on bc its snowy and no one should be out doing stuff, esp on li, where 99% of the people i talk to on aim live. im cold.
the people upstairs are driving me crazy. thats definitely a roach on the wall. ugh. it hasnt moved but i had to get up to fix the bunny ears. ick. its not a big scary one, but im not gonna kill it right now bc i hate the smell of raid. itll have to move and make me nervous for that. the news just said that there have been 300 accidents on li today and yesterday due to the snow. therefore i think my friends should stop being out and come talk to meee. i need to change the channel but i dont think the news is on any other channels. fox five comes in really bad. it kinda skips a lot of the time. but i wanna watch the news.
so i dont know. i worked today and last night and blah blah. i think mr cockroach has changed position. not quite moved but perhaps turned slightly. it might soon be time to approach him with death spray. i hate bugs! ugh.
thought about the usual boy today. i kept hearing his voice in my head, things he's said, things i imagined him saying. its always so beautiful. like the perfect boy voice. it sounds like the way i feel when he brushes the hair out of my face. this quasi exhileration. i cant explain.
the roach is now dead. it has been flushed. my throat is scratchy from the raid. ew. i hate raid. i constantly worry that its going to kill me. it *is* poison, you know.
BLIZZARD OF 03! CRAZY! my nose is bothering me. i hate steam heat. i wish i was at the diner. with a toasted english muffin, dripping with strawberry jam. or maybe two eggs fried with runny yolks on white toast. with american cheese. and a cup of coffee. and a vanilla coke no ice. mmm.. this is what i most look forward to in moving back to long island.
i keep typing because i have no one to talk to. i feel like im having a one sided conversation. mostly because i am. i should have worked tonight. i was going to pick up a shift bc a lot of people wanted to leave, esp jersey people, bc they were worried that they wouldnt be able to get home tonight. i just didnt feel like being there late. i made $110 today, so i didnt care, i just wanted to come home. but like i said, all my chevys people were working, antonia was going to li.. candace is at susans, its snowy so none of the li kids are hanging out. boo. i thought i would go out tonight, i changed shifts with jenna for the morning so i could work tomorrow night instead. blah.
there is some kind of sporting event on every single channel. or commercials. which will prob return to sports. football. ugh. or this muppet crap on channel 4. i guess its a christmas special. but crap, nonetheless. ive effectively killed 40 minutes. sitting here. staring at the roach. the heat is coming back on. its all loud and bang-y. oh my god its whoopie.
... lets me and you run away together. or hole away, cuddled up in my bed. lets pretend the world stopped, like they dont need us to pay bills or go to work or take care of anything. lets just spend days upon days curling up and playing and sleeping and kissing and laughing and touching. ill rub yr belly, ill scratch yr back, you can push my hair out of my face or press yr belly against mine. or we could get in the car and drive till we reach some beautiful place where we can be whatever we want, whoever we want. so what do you say? lets me and you run away together ...
ok enough. mwah.
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