Monday, December 08, 2003
*in yr eyes, i saw a future together, but you just look away in the distance*
tori amos
*life is just the perpetual piecing together of broken bits.*
some weird movie i watched tonight
so what is up? im bored as always. im like who cares about anything? i slept 13 hours. THIRTEEN HOURS. i went to bed at 130, and i pretty much fell right asleep. i woke up periodically, you know.. 7, 9, 10, 1130, 1230. after 1230 i was awake but i kept falling in and out of sleep. i thought about getting up, but i saw no point to it. eventually i got out of bed though, around 2, and i came and plopped myself down, right here, and babbled on aol. i think. but i cant remember who i talked to, or what we talked about. or if i even really talked to anyone, anyway. maybe i just sat here and read my blog. i do that, from time to time.
i need to do laundry. i am so not interested in it though. but i have all this crap i need to do. and i dont want to do any of it. why should i wear clean clothes? its too bad that i cant go back to the 18th century and live amongst revolutionaries. they didnt have laundromats. they were just dirty. whenever i get into one of my "i-wish-i-was-born-in-1754" modes, everyone tells me it would suck bc i wouldnt be able to shower. but if i was born in 1754, i wouldnt know any better. id get to wear bizarre eighteenth century dresses, and petticoats. id want to be a radical, i'd want to be a bitchy revolutionary girl who took part in everything in my submissive role. or maybe i would like to have been born in london in 1613. or maybe not quite london, cos then id likely die of plague. but i think it would be kinda cool to see london during the plague year.. with the red crosses painted on doors.. besides that, i would want to be part of the working poor. that would be a strange experience. i cant imagine life in seventeenth century london. maybe id want to be an aristocrat for a minute. live in a castle, or maybe be a member of the court. but im pretty sure id rather be born in 1754. like new york city, or boston.
so. sometimes im going slightly crazy. im not quite delusional yet, but i mean, who in their right mind wishes they were born two centuries earlier? or even three and a half? i wish i could tour the world through the ages and see all kinds of things ive read about. history is so obscure, all we have to go on is what other people said in the past. there are no video tapes, no records that arent all hearsay, by nature. no one writes anything down without intention. people dont record events objectively, people write things down when they have something to say. no one is impartial. who knows if what they said happened happened as they said it did? i want to see for myself, i want to witness all the things that have gone on throughout history, i want to be at major events and make my own conclusions. i want to see the spanish armada sail for england, in their wooden warships with great masts. i want to see the holy wars, and men fighting in chainmail atop horses with bayonets and swords. i want to see caeser and brutus, i want to see woodstock, and the boston massacre. i want to be a part of everything. i want to see great speeches, and the hobo villages and shanty towns that wwi vets set up outside the white house during the depression. i want to see new york city grow through the years, i want to be at the completion of the brooklyn bridge. i'd like to be in a tavern with jack the ripper, and maybe solve the case for real. i want to be at the salem witch trials, and i want to have lived in england in the early 1500s to know what richard III was really like, to see if he really murdered his nephews or if the next kind had already taken over by the time they disappeared. id spend time in russia, and visit the great wall of china as it was being built. or see the great south american ruins before they were ruins. i want to know it all. i want to see it and live it and be it. this existance is so plain. i stand for so much but nothing makes any impact, nothing makes a dent on the history of the world or of the nation or of my city. im being incredibly individualistic right now.
anyway. i shall retreat to my bed because it there where i am happiest. and where i can live all the things i imagine, and dream all the dreams which i may..
tori amos
*life is just the perpetual piecing together of broken bits.*
some weird movie i watched tonight
so what is up? im bored as always. im like who cares about anything? i slept 13 hours. THIRTEEN HOURS. i went to bed at 130, and i pretty much fell right asleep. i woke up periodically, you know.. 7, 9, 10, 1130, 1230. after 1230 i was awake but i kept falling in and out of sleep. i thought about getting up, but i saw no point to it. eventually i got out of bed though, around 2, and i came and plopped myself down, right here, and babbled on aol. i think. but i cant remember who i talked to, or what we talked about. or if i even really talked to anyone, anyway. maybe i just sat here and read my blog. i do that, from time to time.
i need to do laundry. i am so not interested in it though. but i have all this crap i need to do. and i dont want to do any of it. why should i wear clean clothes? its too bad that i cant go back to the 18th century and live amongst revolutionaries. they didnt have laundromats. they were just dirty. whenever i get into one of my "i-wish-i-was-born-in-1754" modes, everyone tells me it would suck bc i wouldnt be able to shower. but if i was born in 1754, i wouldnt know any better. id get to wear bizarre eighteenth century dresses, and petticoats. id want to be a radical, i'd want to be a bitchy revolutionary girl who took part in everything in my submissive role. or maybe i would like to have been born in london in 1613. or maybe not quite london, cos then id likely die of plague. but i think it would be kinda cool to see london during the plague year.. with the red crosses painted on doors.. besides that, i would want to be part of the working poor. that would be a strange experience. i cant imagine life in seventeenth century london. maybe id want to be an aristocrat for a minute. live in a castle, or maybe be a member of the court. but im pretty sure id rather be born in 1754. like new york city, or boston.
so. sometimes im going slightly crazy. im not quite delusional yet, but i mean, who in their right mind wishes they were born two centuries earlier? or even three and a half? i wish i could tour the world through the ages and see all kinds of things ive read about. history is so obscure, all we have to go on is what other people said in the past. there are no video tapes, no records that arent all hearsay, by nature. no one writes anything down without intention. people dont record events objectively, people write things down when they have something to say. no one is impartial. who knows if what they said happened happened as they said it did? i want to see for myself, i want to witness all the things that have gone on throughout history, i want to be at major events and make my own conclusions. i want to see the spanish armada sail for england, in their wooden warships with great masts. i want to see the holy wars, and men fighting in chainmail atop horses with bayonets and swords. i want to see caeser and brutus, i want to see woodstock, and the boston massacre. i want to be a part of everything. i want to see great speeches, and the hobo villages and shanty towns that wwi vets set up outside the white house during the depression. i want to see new york city grow through the years, i want to be at the completion of the brooklyn bridge. i'd like to be in a tavern with jack the ripper, and maybe solve the case for real. i want to be at the salem witch trials, and i want to have lived in england in the early 1500s to know what richard III was really like, to see if he really murdered his nephews or if the next kind had already taken over by the time they disappeared. id spend time in russia, and visit the great wall of china as it was being built. or see the great south american ruins before they were ruins. i want to know it all. i want to see it and live it and be it. this existance is so plain. i stand for so much but nothing makes any impact, nothing makes a dent on the history of the world or of the nation or of my city. im being incredibly individualistic right now.
anyway. i shall retreat to my bed because it there where i am happiest. and where i can live all the things i imagine, and dream all the dreams which i may..
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