Wednesday, December 10, 2003
my computer is fucking up royally. i think it might be viral. ugh.
i'm really tired, and i dont even know why i started to write a post. i have to get up early tomorrow. i have to go to school and get some shit done, meet with jan lewis at 4, then meet steve at 4:45. we are having our last class in a restaurant, and he is my driver. i wish i had "total eclipse of the heart" because then we could practice our duet. prince charming wears eyeliner, featuring ex-penfold! woo. i havent listened to their cd in a while. its hard for me to dissociate the fact that he is my friend, yet he helped create some really beautiful music. im sure i saw them back in the day, especially since he said they played on LI with inside, but im bummed that i missed their final show. but alas, it was in NJ and i had to work. boo. actually, tomorrow might be the last time i see him for a while. we'll both be working on our theses next semester, no class.. we took classes together all throughout.. he was one of the first people i met. i remember, the first day of class, jessica and i were outside smoking, and he came out too. he smoked lucky strikes with no filter back then. we talked about where we went for undergrad, and he said his girlfriend goes to pace. he was kinda standoffish though, so i was like "i dont think i like him." but the politics were there and he turned out to be super fabulous and wonderful and we started doing political crap together and i fell for him. i hated him so much because we started going to study group and all this stuff, and he never mentioned her again, like TWO MONTHS later, and i was like so head over heels, and then he finally mentioned her and i was so sad. i got over it though, mainly bc the enigma interfered. but im happy, bc i think i needed to have that crush on him to get back into being political and trying to do something about the wretched state of affairs in this country. i went to my first DC protest with him! we had so much fun that day. sigh. he was so happy when i was reading "other voices, other rooms" bc of "the secret nine." when he saw me reading it, his eyes lit up like a little kid. thats one of my favorite things about him, hes so childlike and innocent about such simple things as books and chess, or, like, prince! i told him i was gonna get him leather pants with the butt cut out for christmas. but yah, i wonder if we'll really keep in touch. i'd like to, he has been a huge influence on me, and hes really smart and talented and all this crap. i think i will propose that we periodically meet at mcgoverns for a meal and some drinks. we always get the same thing - me: grilled cheese, steve: chicken fingers. he gets a half and half (half bass, half guiness.. bc you never ask for a black and tan in an irish pub) and i get a margarita with a splash of cranberry juice. last year, rob (the bartender) would bring our drinks over to us when we sat down, without even asking us what we were gonna have ahahaha.. i cant even tell you how many times i drank too much and had to stagger to the newark subway. and the time he offered to drive me to newark penn, but we couldnt find an open entrance.. and we made like 14 illegal turns, on streets, on bridges, then finally decided just to drive to hoboken. he was my crutch and my buddy. people within the MA program kind of associate us with each other. i run into people and they're like "hows steve?" ahaha.
anyway, remember i said i had to get to bed? yahhh.. im so sad though, im afraid that this will be the end of my buddyship with him. oh well, life goes on, right? you know what though? im gonna make a serious effort to keep in touch with steve. because im tired of letting people who totally influence me and make me a better person slip by bc i suck at keeping in touch. so there.
i'm really tired, and i dont even know why i started to write a post. i have to get up early tomorrow. i have to go to school and get some shit done, meet with jan lewis at 4, then meet steve at 4:45. we are having our last class in a restaurant, and he is my driver. i wish i had "total eclipse of the heart" because then we could practice our duet. prince charming wears eyeliner, featuring ex-penfold! woo. i havent listened to their cd in a while. its hard for me to dissociate the fact that he is my friend, yet he helped create some really beautiful music. im sure i saw them back in the day, especially since he said they played on LI with inside, but im bummed that i missed their final show. but alas, it was in NJ and i had to work. boo. actually, tomorrow might be the last time i see him for a while. we'll both be working on our theses next semester, no class.. we took classes together all throughout.. he was one of the first people i met. i remember, the first day of class, jessica and i were outside smoking, and he came out too. he smoked lucky strikes with no filter back then. we talked about where we went for undergrad, and he said his girlfriend goes to pace. he was kinda standoffish though, so i was like "i dont think i like him." but the politics were there and he turned out to be super fabulous and wonderful and we started doing political crap together and i fell for him. i hated him so much because we started going to study group and all this stuff, and he never mentioned her again, like TWO MONTHS later, and i was like so head over heels, and then he finally mentioned her and i was so sad. i got over it though, mainly bc the enigma interfered. but im happy, bc i think i needed to have that crush on him to get back into being political and trying to do something about the wretched state of affairs in this country. i went to my first DC protest with him! we had so much fun that day. sigh. he was so happy when i was reading "other voices, other rooms" bc of "the secret nine." when he saw me reading it, his eyes lit up like a little kid. thats one of my favorite things about him, hes so childlike and innocent about such simple things as books and chess, or, like, prince! i told him i was gonna get him leather pants with the butt cut out for christmas. but yah, i wonder if we'll really keep in touch. i'd like to, he has been a huge influence on me, and hes really smart and talented and all this crap. i think i will propose that we periodically meet at mcgoverns for a meal and some drinks. we always get the same thing - me: grilled cheese, steve: chicken fingers. he gets a half and half (half bass, half guiness.. bc you never ask for a black and tan in an irish pub) and i get a margarita with a splash of cranberry juice. last year, rob (the bartender) would bring our drinks over to us when we sat down, without even asking us what we were gonna have ahahaha.. i cant even tell you how many times i drank too much and had to stagger to the newark subway. and the time he offered to drive me to newark penn, but we couldnt find an open entrance.. and we made like 14 illegal turns, on streets, on bridges, then finally decided just to drive to hoboken. he was my crutch and my buddy. people within the MA program kind of associate us with each other. i run into people and they're like "hows steve?" ahaha.
anyway, remember i said i had to get to bed? yahhh.. im so sad though, im afraid that this will be the end of my buddyship with him. oh well, life goes on, right? you know what though? im gonna make a serious effort to keep in touch with steve. because im tired of letting people who totally influence me and make me a better person slip by bc i suck at keeping in touch. so there.
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