is it too late to heal?

aaaargh. i havent seen my roommate in over a week. the last time i saw her was monday Jan 5. im beginning to get used to living alone, which i guess is good, since i'll be living alone when i move back to long island. wish that i could have a cat. sometimes i get really mad she wouldnt let me get a cat, esp when she is never ever here. whatever though.

i think bart is going to bail on our guitar lesson. i also think that kim isnt going to call me, bc aint no way that she is still at work right now. its like quarter to eleven.. she should even be home right now. i miss the enigma, i wish my phone would vibrate with some simple words. i dont care what, it could just say "just wanted to say hi" and i would be happy. maybe hes trying to forget me. maybe he should have let me go in sept when he decided to try to make things work with his ex.. but he said he didnt want to forget me, he wanted to stay friends, he didnt want that to happen again.. ugh ugh ugh. maybe i need this, but im lonely without him. not that he kept me company before, but yah. i dont know. i think its sinking in that this was all a game again, and that im the asshole. and dont you hate it, when it turns out, yr the asshole? speaking of on the might of princes.. i really wanna get off work and go see them friday in wading river. i wish i had my car! the problem here is that the band of the enigma is playing as well, and i cannot show up alone. i could if they werent, but.. it would be too weird. to hang out by myself and possibly meet her and ugh. but i wanna see them..... im like racking my brain to think of people who might possibly go see on the might with me.. maybe ill go through my phone later. maybe kim will go. maybe ill just be tough and go alone. riiiiight. but i really wanna goooooo. this is tragic. im fucked up so it doesnt matter right now anyway. bye.