is it too late to heal?

its snowing. but it doesnt look like snow. it looks like tiny balls of glitter falling from the sky. the snowflakes land on you, and they dont melt, they keep their tiny little unique shapes for a while before they are gone. and when you walk through it, its like walking through sand at the beach, and it glimmers and shines like little mirrors. reflecting light. like the glittery sidewalk. i walked down my street, and i said to myself "well, i guess no one's been to franklin street tonight." the snow was still all undisturbed on the sidewalk. it was snow i like, for the first time in my life. new york snow is always filthy the minute it falls. but this was pure, clean snow. i wanted to bottle it, but i realized it isnt sand. it will melt.

remember the day that we decided we wanted to be tourists, too? and we were going to make up our own language, and speak it to each other, while riding tour busses.. seeing all the sights, and looking at tall buildings with wonder. i remember that day. i think it was cold out.

and you, mister enigma.. why are you avoiding me? why won't you respond when i send you a message? what have i done? are you mad at me for wondering why you never ask me to come see you play anymore? or are you letting go? i sent you TWO messages today. two. and i did not hear back from you once. i miss you. i wish i could understand why i miss you, i wish i could understand why yr not answering me. i wish that you'd stop being an enigma and loan me a moment of clarity.

im tired of being awake. im through with this day..