is it too late to heal?

ok so it took me even LONGER to fall asleep last night. lets see, i probably didnt fall asleep till 6. i was so angry. not ANGRY, but you know. so i finally fell asleep, and then i woke up at 10:45 bc the door bell was ringing. ok, so it was this guy from the gas company. and it was weird. i mean, here i am, and here is this dude, and im supposed to let you in bc you say "gas company"? but i let him in, and he read the meter, and i went back to bed. then like 20 mins later i got a txt from the enigma, saying that his sister made him an uncle this week, and he was going to be doing baby things this weekend, so he wouldnt be able to see me, but how does my week look.. so i said i was free monday and tuesday.. im sure he has plans though. tuesday used to be the fool proof day, where he would always be able to hang out, but lately he has hooters plans or whatnot with his friends. i keep thinking that he must be all talk. because seriously, i've given him 7 of the current 9 days to pick from. monday, tuesday, friday, saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday. if he is busy this upcoming monday and tuesday, then i will really begin to suspect that he is all talk.. and that its just like.. if i keep asking, she will think im making the effort.. i havent heard back from him though. he is at work, of course, probably doing work things, and maybe i will hear from him later on. so anyway. i put the pillow over my head and laid there with my eyes wide open. looked at the clock, it was 12. switched from side to side.. maybe i fell back asleep for a little, but im not sure. then it was 130, and bally was calling my phone and i yelled at the guy bc im tired of bally calling me every single fucking day. then i felt bad. dont wake me up, i suck when im cranky. so i sent the enigma another message.. i said "i got a hug yesterday that was almost as good as yr hugs.. too bad he was gay ahaha. but i need yr hugs soon, that would be great." then i decided that i should get up and start my day of watching tv. i might do laundry today. i realllly wanna get all my shit clean, pants and all. i havent really washed pants in a while. and my towels smell like cigs. but i dont know. i might wait till tuesday.. ugh. no i shouldnt wait till tuesday! MY TOWELS SMELL LIKE CIGS! i should fuckin suck it up and go to the laundromat. i should also clean my room and be merry. maybe clean the kitchen and the bathroom, cos it hasnt been done in a long time. im tired of living here. while i couldnt fall asleep last night, i kept thinking that im almost out, and i can really unpack and start living off of shelves instead of out of boxes.. but its still so far away... july. its almost february. five and a half more months...

alright. well ive been sitting here for like 15 minutes wondering what to say next. i havent got anything else to say being that i didnt do anything of note in the past two hours. byebye.