is it too late to heal?

so. i woke up at 4 pm. i was way groggy. i did not sleep well. but i came out to the couch, and mike got up and he went to leave, but his car got towed. so. he is still here. i woke up, smoked, and started drinking cherry coke spiked with malibu (so good). thats all i did all day. smoke, drink, eat. watch tv. i also played some guitar. mike is still here, he is presently laying in my bed, bc its a warm, warm place. im watching leno.

i thought about you a whole lot. im like obsessed with getting a hug. its been the only thing on my mind tonight.. hugs. and how most hugs aren't that good. because it has to mean something to me. i dont like for a hug to feel forced. lately i feel like all my hugs are forced, im looking for the magical replacement of enigma hugs. bart gives good strong hugs. but its not the same, no sparks..