Friday, January 09, 2004
what a night... this afternoon went alright, i did my laundry (my cords feel so clean and fluffy right now!), i showered, put my hair in pigtail twists and set off for work. got there, put on the eyeliner, waiting for my tortillas.. and then bam. bart tells me he's mad at kim ("i'm NEVER talking to kim again!"). i was like why? and he said he just was, and did i know what she did with baxter? i said no, and i guessed a few things, then bart came into the kitchen again, and i was trying to figure out how i could get her to tell me without dropping serious hints that i knew.. and he like yells "she fucked him on new years eve!" i was like WHAT?! i'm so hurt that she didn't tell me. and im also mad bc she was telling me at the diner the other night that she wanted gonzo to tell her if he was hooking up with anyone else, but i dont think she told gonzo, bc i soooo dont think he would be ok with the fact that she hooked up with one of her roommates. bart was mad bc he couldnt believe baxter did that, and also bc kim fell victim to him. he was like "i cant look around this place without seeing some girl he's fucked." and its TRUE. on halloween, when he said stuff to me, i thought he was being real for five seconds of his life. but no. he was probably just trying to seduce me. fuck that. i went to the bar for change before and baxter was like "well, looky here" and i was like "change." and shot him a look. im so mad about the whole thing bc shes keeping something from me.. and she's LYING bc the other day, she was saying that we werent groupies bc we havent slept with any member of the band.. and she HAS. mikey walked in on them.. and im mad at him for not being able to control himself. whatever. there is supposedly mad drama in the kew gardens apartment, bc stef knows and mikey knows and they are (kim and baxter, i mean) weird because of it and blah blah blah. but she chooses not to tell me about it.. im like.. i fucking tell her everything, i told her about my work secret/mistake, i tell her about the enigma allllll the time, even though she makes me feel like crap about it... bart was like "baxters girls never talk about it, its always a secret." but still. i cant believe she's keeping it from me. so i kind of didnt have anything to say to her at work.. i mean.. we have hung out TWICE since new years, one of those times we were alone at the diner for like an hour, so its not even like we werent in a secluded from gossip environment... she called me tuesday and we were on the phone for like 20 minutes.. bart was like "she's not gonna tell you. they want it to be a secret." but she *had to* know i knew.. bc bart talked to me as soon as he got there, and i was ok with her till then. i was like forcing myself to be my normal self.. but then it really sunk in that she had multiple opportunities to let me in on it, and she didnt. i had to hear through someone else. and it kinda bothers me bc i talked to her about the halloween incident, so she knew there was something between us for a minute. but at the same time.. i dont know. i mean, i could never hook up with him. it was kinda like bart said.. that he would love to hook up with me or kim, but our friendship means too much to him, and he doesnt want to chance destroying it or making things weird or different. hes like "i exercise self control." i dont even know whats gonna happen. i feel like she let me down, maybe im being selfish. but she tells me everything, and she didnt tell me this. but i cant be all honest and open with her, if she isnt with me. and if she LIES to me. it was lying to say that we havent slept with any members of the band.. bc at that time, one of us had.. the thing is, she had to know it would come out in the wash, bc mikey walked in on them. and nothing within the band stays with the member who saw it. mikey told them all, and bart told me.. he wasnt mad anymore by the end of work. he said that the initial envy and irritation had washed away, and that he no longer cared if they were stupid. but im not over it. i feel betrayed. we passed each other in the bathroom before leaving, and she was like "g'nite" and i was jusy like "bye." ugh! i hate when stupid things happen. they always get in the way. im unable to hide my emotions, i wear them conspicuously all over my face.
my horoscope said i was supposed to have a hieghtened power of seduction tonight. i had some fun at work. i was telling victor that i learned a scale on my guitar, and that i could play it with my eyes closed. and i was showing him how it went and he looks at me all confused and goes "damn gille, yr friend taught you how to throw gang signs?" and i explained it to him, and he was like "oh, like on the instrument!" he really didnt get it at first. *sigh* i couldn't stop laughing. i kept asking walter (my runner boyfriend) what he was doing.. and then like the 4th time i asked him i was like hysterically laughing, like "you like how i keep asking you what yr doing, when i know perfectly well that yr organizing a shelf, or carrying a box?" he said, "you just want attention" and i was like "YOU want attention!" and he was like "yah, so?" ahahaaa. i also told him that if we hook up, he has the task of redeeming all latin men, bc all of the 100% latino men i've hooked up with have been awful. he was like "damn, was they puerto rican?" and i was like "YES!" and he like "tsk"ed and shook his head. but they weren't thugs. he's definitely a thug. there is something about his thugness, however, which oddly makes me want to make out with him. i think its bc i know him, and i work with him, and i trust him.. so the thugness is intriguing, instead of scary. he's my favorite boy to flirt with at work. my favorite thing is to say "i love the way you run my food, baby" in a sexy voice after he puts the plates on the table. never thought i would say this, but i wouldn't be surprised at myself if this thug boy came home with me one day. i wouldnt even have to be fucked up to invite him. i think i might have tonight. subtley. for sunday.. whenever this happens, i worm out at the last minute. like last friday.. i guess i was being really flirty and he had like 25 minutes till he got off, and i was like "aw, i cant wait 24 minutes for you.." and the next day he was like "you fronted on me last night" which, after i asked him to elaborate, he told me meant that i busted out when he was so close to being off. i get kinda nervous. mainly bc i wouldnt want *anyone* at work to find out, esp not like diccia.. i dont want it to be gossip, i dont want a peep to be said. i dont want him bragging in spanish in the kitchen, cos god knows if one of them finds out, they would feel like they could hit on me MORE and maybe i'd take them home, too. he is the only alluring one in the kitchen, and i think i would only do it once, just to say i'd been with a thug. i'm talking crazy right now. i dont even know what im thinking.
this girl on extreme dating has realllllly bad tan lines. next date. ok, well this woman looks like she painted her face on, and its terrible. i cant stand overmade women. i simply wear eyeliner. sometimes i break out the lip gloss, but i regularly rock chapstick. with black eyeliner. although i do run over the top line with a black and silver sparkles eyeliner pencil. if i just wear that one, the glitter is too much, and the makeup looks silver instead of black with silver sparkles. however, if i put on a black line and brush over it with the sparkly one, its all the better. im rambling about eyeliner right now. im sorry. my mind is like melted right now. it was good to go back to work i guess, but im so ready to have another few days off. im off tomorrow night, so im happy about that. i will come home and play guitar. woohooo. i havent got any plans tomorrow night. nothing is going on of interest. i want to play it right now, but its 1 am. its taken me forever to write this. i ate a few times and smoked, now its like an hour later. i think i will....i dont know. i cant go to bed yet. well, i could. but that would be stupid. i have at least another hour and a half in me. sigh. maybe i'll IM random people on my buddy list, who i havent talked to in ages. riiiiight. peace to little geese! (chaz's roommate paul used to say that all the time.)
my horoscope said i was supposed to have a hieghtened power of seduction tonight. i had some fun at work. i was telling victor that i learned a scale on my guitar, and that i could play it with my eyes closed. and i was showing him how it went and he looks at me all confused and goes "damn gille, yr friend taught you how to throw gang signs?" and i explained it to him, and he was like "oh, like on the instrument!" he really didnt get it at first. *sigh* i couldn't stop laughing. i kept asking walter (my runner boyfriend) what he was doing.. and then like the 4th time i asked him i was like hysterically laughing, like "you like how i keep asking you what yr doing, when i know perfectly well that yr organizing a shelf, or carrying a box?" he said, "you just want attention" and i was like "YOU want attention!" and he was like "yah, so?" ahahaaa. i also told him that if we hook up, he has the task of redeeming all latin men, bc all of the 100% latino men i've hooked up with have been awful. he was like "damn, was they puerto rican?" and i was like "YES!" and he like "tsk"ed and shook his head. but they weren't thugs. he's definitely a thug. there is something about his thugness, however, which oddly makes me want to make out with him. i think its bc i know him, and i work with him, and i trust him.. so the thugness is intriguing, instead of scary. he's my favorite boy to flirt with at work. my favorite thing is to say "i love the way you run my food, baby" in a sexy voice after he puts the plates on the table. never thought i would say this, but i wouldn't be surprised at myself if this thug boy came home with me one day. i wouldnt even have to be fucked up to invite him. i think i might have tonight. subtley. for sunday.. whenever this happens, i worm out at the last minute. like last friday.. i guess i was being really flirty and he had like 25 minutes till he got off, and i was like "aw, i cant wait 24 minutes for you.." and the next day he was like "you fronted on me last night" which, after i asked him to elaborate, he told me meant that i busted out when he was so close to being off. i get kinda nervous. mainly bc i wouldnt want *anyone* at work to find out, esp not like diccia.. i dont want it to be gossip, i dont want a peep to be said. i dont want him bragging in spanish in the kitchen, cos god knows if one of them finds out, they would feel like they could hit on me MORE and maybe i'd take them home, too. he is the only alluring one in the kitchen, and i think i would only do it once, just to say i'd been with a thug. i'm talking crazy right now. i dont even know what im thinking.
this girl on extreme dating has realllllly bad tan lines. next date. ok, well this woman looks like she painted her face on, and its terrible. i cant stand overmade women. i simply wear eyeliner. sometimes i break out the lip gloss, but i regularly rock chapstick. with black eyeliner. although i do run over the top line with a black and silver sparkles eyeliner pencil. if i just wear that one, the glitter is too much, and the makeup looks silver instead of black with silver sparkles. however, if i put on a black line and brush over it with the sparkly one, its all the better. im rambling about eyeliner right now. im sorry. my mind is like melted right now. it was good to go back to work i guess, but im so ready to have another few days off. im off tomorrow night, so im happy about that. i will come home and play guitar. woohooo. i havent got any plans tomorrow night. nothing is going on of interest. i want to play it right now, but its 1 am. its taken me forever to write this. i ate a few times and smoked, now its like an hour later. i think i will....i dont know. i cant go to bed yet. well, i could. but that would be stupid. i have at least another hour and a half in me. sigh. maybe i'll IM random people on my buddy list, who i havent talked to in ages. riiiiight. peace to little geese! (chaz's roommate paul used to say that all the time.)
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