is it too late to heal?

aaaaah. nothing going on, really. i watched one tree hill with candace.. oh my god, im so obsessed with that show. lucas. soooo hot. i totally have post nasal drip right now. i know its from trampsing around in the rain last tuesday. i'd gotten this far through the winter without getting sick, but on saturday i noticed a little nasal quality to my voice, and i woke up this morning with post nasal drip. ugh. im so going to bed early to battle this oncoming disease. fuck the cold, i will not fall victim! i'll take a stand! maybe i'll even get some orange juice in the morning. maybe.

i went to rutgers today. that was good times. i read the index of like 10 volumes of hamilton's papers, and i got nowhere. im starting to freak out. what if i cant find enough information? i also had a bunch of books delivered from the new brunswick library.. they should be in by next week i guess.. it was a way boring day for me. i did read a lot of my book though. last night i read like 100 more pages, and today i read on the train. i might go read again in a wee bit.

i didnt hear back from the enigma today. sometimes i wonder if my phone really doesnt give me my messages, or if he just pretends. i mean.. i dont get mesages from kim sometimes, and last thursday he sent a few messages i didnt get that he asked about when he got here, like "did you get my message about the snow?" which i didnt, and he was like "yah, its gonna snow, so i kinda wanna be home before it starts." who knows. it doesnt matter, anyway. im destined to be alone until i get over this. im so wishy washy a lot of the time. i think i just go through moments of doubt and moments of hope. maybe its because im crazy. this is way likely.

ok. thats about all i have to say. xo.