is it too late to heal?

i tried to sleep as long as possible.. but i kept having dreams that made me feel so good, and i'd wake up, and reality would set it. in my dreams you kissed me and you knew that i wanted to be with you, and you wanted to be with me. it was just us, being an us and being happy. and that cannot exist outside of sleep for me. i cried a bit ago. i havent cried in so long. and i still want to.. i mean, i kinda teared up on the PATH yesterday, because i finished death of a salesman, and it made me sad.. and i *always* cry in books.. i guess i should know better than to read the end of that play on the train, but i concealed my tears well. but i havent cried, like laid there and *cried* in a while, and now i dont know. i dont want to be sad. i keep thinking that i need to tell you to let me go, and stop seeing me, and stop letting me believe that in time, this could all change. because it WONT. you dont want me. you have to let go. you have to let go. you have to let go. you have to let go. you have to let go....... because i cant.