is it too late to heal?

*im miserable, and yr just getting started*
taking back sunday

im on li. im completely miserable. im so fucked up over things with us, i can see the words constantly.. stuff gets shitty with us.. yep. yep it does. is this anohter cycle like the summer? when i didnt see you for over two months bc you got scared or bc you dont want to hurt me anymore? yr too busy again this week. of course, of course. but you know what? i might be moving on a little. there is this boy that works at the applebee's i used to work at, and he waited on us last week. tonight he was bartender. i think i have a crush on him. emily said she would investigate, and i was like noooo. that would be embarassing. i dont know though. maybe it doesnt matter. im pretty sure that if i got involved with someone else, and i hung out with you, there would be cheating involved.

*you are haunting my reality. yr lies are the only truth that i believe. you are haunting my reality, and every time i think about you i die* i think thats right. i also think it might be stabbing westward. its in my head. im pretty sure its stabbing westward, and on "whither blister burn + peel" and i think there is another lyric in there that goes "once i swore i would die for you.." i havent listened to stabbing westward since like 1996. they're in the song kurt wrote about me. "she likes stabbing westward but she dont like mtv." the mean song. booo.

im going to take a trip into the valley of the dolls now.