is it too late to heal?

swimming in thoughts of you.. so disappointed today, although im sure yr intentions were not to let me down. i told you i was coming home monday, and you told me that yr still thinking of last week. and i said i was too, bc it had been such a great night and.. i guess i asked you if it was the movies or the lovin, and you said it had been a while, and its like once you get a taste of it, you want it all the time.. i felt like you were telling me that, yes, this is purely sexual, and nothing more. purely sexual... after thursday i was sure that we had so much fun just playing guitar and actually watching the movie.. i thought that maybe the old days were coming back, the days in 97 before we ever kissed, when every time we were together it was just us hanging out and talking and being silly.. i thought maybe you could have the capacity to feel that way again, but of course i was probably wrong.. because why buy the cow when you get the milk for free, right? and yr so into the sexual part, yr so obsessed with how i make you feel in bed, and how "hot" i am and blah blah blah. its obscured anything else. like sometimes i think that you couldnt live without having me in bed. i feel like even when we fight, and we dont talk for two or three weeks, you always message, you miss me or yr thinking of me .. which inevitably leads to a reconcilliation, and hanging out, and making out, and then bed.. i dont know how long you could go without seeing me before you missed sleeping with me so much that you couldnt hold out any longer. i want this to mean something, i want that sooo badly. but i'll never let go because i have feelings, and you'll never let go bc you cant resist sleeping with me.. and maybe it'll never end. ill always be a sucker for the prospect of a hug from you. and i cant say no to the way you make me feel..... maybe ill go crazy. i think im already there.