Friday, March 26, 2004
*i dragged this lake looking for corpses, dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards pieces of planes and black box recorders don't lie and ive been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses that sense DNA on barbed wire fences maybe someday i'll find me a suspect that has no alibi
new years eve was as boring as heaven i watched flies fuck on channel 11 there was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink and theres no ring on the phone anymore theres no reason to call i passed out on the floor smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry but at the right place at the right time i'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine and i wont have to quit doing fucked up shit for anyone but me and at the right place at the right time it will have been worth it to stand in line and you wont have to stop saying "i love cops" for anyone but me your private eye*
alkaline trio, whom i love dearly.
ok. so the horoscope, the awful scary one? yah, it didnt come true. i talked to kim before, and we're going shopping with derek tomorrow. no flight changes, no hotel changes no nada. thank fuckin god. cos i woulda cried.
horoscope, march 26:
You may be feeling that your emotions are holding you back, gille. You have everything else worked out in your head, you have the car packed and ready to go, yet someone or something keeps tugging at your heartstrings, making it difficult for you to start the engine. Don't ignore the emotional issues that you know you need to deal with. They will only become more difficult if you don't address them now.
hmm.. that one is def right lol. but its way easy to interpret that as anything thats going on in anyones life. like, see, i feel like the enigma holds me back from moving on.. and that is how it feels. but you, my imaginary reader, could apply that to yr on imaginary life, as well, i suppose.
*never ran away for the sake of scars, tried not to move but she was armed, and shots were fired now a hole in the head of this wounded liar. never had a drink that i didnt like, got a taste of you, threw up all night. i got more sick with every sour second rate kiss*
candace is going to texas this weekend. the gus i got for her sisters baby shower is at the PO right now. her sister, cory, is having a baby in a month, and its gonna be a boy, and his name will be augustus lloyd. its very.. sparta meets sherman. sherman as in sherma, texas, which is the country.. the two names sound cute but funny together. so we got him a gus gus. you know, from cinderella? anyway i have to pck up the package tomorrow since she leaves saturday morning.
im listening to "from here to infirmary." (all quotes are from that record.)good times. worked on my thesis for three hours. i wrote 9 pages. thats a good speed, 3/hour. thursday and alkaline kept the spirit alive. im waaaaay thinking ahead of myself, like thinking to the conclusion. i just finished chapter 1. i have full 22 pages right now, i have to get to 65-70. chap 2 will go from 23-45, i think. chapter 3 will be 46-65. my conclusion will be longer than i thought, i think. i was thinking i should perhaps just write the conclusion. if i have to add anything, i can. i dont have to make sure its perfect. but i have such good ideas im afraid ill forget them. whatever.
im going to go see if i have okcupid email now. oxox
*i gave up on you a long time ago, how can you blame me? we made plans to meet and you never showed, you kept me waiting. they said everything would work out just fine, they said you'd help me. but as it turns out it was all a lie, and they're off someplace far away laughing at me
youve been there for me one time in my life, but it didnt matter. you came and went so fast all my hope and faith in you shattered. and now here i sit alone in this room, no one to confide in. you watched all my dreams come apart at the seams. you laughed, you left, you waited in hiding.
bless me dark father i have sinned. ive done it before and i'll do it again, cuz it keeps me warm, and makes you smile, been beneath me all the while
hell yes*
new years eve was as boring as heaven i watched flies fuck on channel 11 there was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink and theres no ring on the phone anymore theres no reason to call i passed out on the floor smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry but at the right place at the right time i'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine and i wont have to quit doing fucked up shit for anyone but me and at the right place at the right time it will have been worth it to stand in line and you wont have to stop saying "i love cops" for anyone but me your private eye*
alkaline trio, whom i love dearly.
ok. so the horoscope, the awful scary one? yah, it didnt come true. i talked to kim before, and we're going shopping with derek tomorrow. no flight changes, no hotel changes no nada. thank fuckin god. cos i woulda cried.
horoscope, march 26:
You may be feeling that your emotions are holding you back, gille. You have everything else worked out in your head, you have the car packed and ready to go, yet someone or something keeps tugging at your heartstrings, making it difficult for you to start the engine. Don't ignore the emotional issues that you know you need to deal with. They will only become more difficult if you don't address them now.
hmm.. that one is def right lol. but its way easy to interpret that as anything thats going on in anyones life. like, see, i feel like the enigma holds me back from moving on.. and that is how it feels. but you, my imaginary reader, could apply that to yr on imaginary life, as well, i suppose.
*never ran away for the sake of scars, tried not to move but she was armed, and shots were fired now a hole in the head of this wounded liar. never had a drink that i didnt like, got a taste of you, threw up all night. i got more sick with every sour second rate kiss*
candace is going to texas this weekend. the gus i got for her sisters baby shower is at the PO right now. her sister, cory, is having a baby in a month, and its gonna be a boy, and his name will be augustus lloyd. its very.. sparta meets sherman. sherman as in sherma, texas, which is the country.. the two names sound cute but funny together. so we got him a gus gus. you know, from cinderella? anyway i have to pck up the package tomorrow since she leaves saturday morning.
im listening to "from here to infirmary." (all quotes are from that record.)good times. worked on my thesis for three hours. i wrote 9 pages. thats a good speed, 3/hour. thursday and alkaline kept the spirit alive. im waaaaay thinking ahead of myself, like thinking to the conclusion. i just finished chapter 1. i have full 22 pages right now, i have to get to 65-70. chap 2 will go from 23-45, i think. chapter 3 will be 46-65. my conclusion will be longer than i thought, i think. i was thinking i should perhaps just write the conclusion. if i have to add anything, i can. i dont have to make sure its perfect. but i have such good ideas im afraid ill forget them. whatever.
im going to go see if i have okcupid email now. oxox
*i gave up on you a long time ago, how can you blame me? we made plans to meet and you never showed, you kept me waiting. they said everything would work out just fine, they said you'd help me. but as it turns out it was all a lie, and they're off someplace far away laughing at me
youve been there for me one time in my life, but it didnt matter. you came and went so fast all my hope and faith in you shattered. and now here i sit alone in this room, no one to confide in. you watched all my dreams come apart at the seams. you laughed, you left, you waited in hiding.
bless me dark father i have sinned. ive done it before and i'll do it again, cuz it keeps me warm, and makes you smile, been beneath me all the while
hell yes*
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