Tuesday, March 30, 2004
listening to "such blinding stars for starving eyes" by cursive. think i should go to bed, as therapy awaits me at noon. strangely unmotivated. perhaps not so strangely.
ooh gosh. 6 hours of sleep will be plenty. must work on thesis tomorrow. must go to rutgers and file my diploma application.
tonight mike and i discussed my growing up poor, and how its molded me into this unmaterialistic girl. im pretty happy with my childhood, despite the loneliness, the lack of food, and the hitting. i almost feel like that part didnt happen, ive erased it.
ive been super territorial lately (see entry from march 29, earlier tonight).. all stingy with shit. but i mean it when i say it. i cant stand when people are followers. im not doing this to be a leader, im doing it to be different than you. stop being malleable, get an identity and claim it as yr on. ive been this girl since i was 16. you change yr persona when you change boyfriends. dont morph into me, dont read the pages of my life or the quotes i choose and make them yr own.
so. im going to bed. i was gonna try to finish this cd, but its way long.. im sleepy. i need a new book. i started reading this side of paradise when i finished valley of the dolls, but for some reason i cant get into it. its no gatsby, thats for sure. ive read most of the classics.. and thats what i like best. im thinking about reading catch 22 or great expectations. im also into plays lately.. i read death of a salesman (i think i mentioned that, it made me cry on the PATH train), and some eugene o'neill.. eh. maybe i should just be content in my non reading for now. concentrate on the thesis.
oh yah i was going to bed.. sweet dreams... *and just as i typed that, the cd ended. good job gille!*
ooh gosh. 6 hours of sleep will be plenty. must work on thesis tomorrow. must go to rutgers and file my diploma application.
tonight mike and i discussed my growing up poor, and how its molded me into this unmaterialistic girl. im pretty happy with my childhood, despite the loneliness, the lack of food, and the hitting. i almost feel like that part didnt happen, ive erased it.
ive been super territorial lately (see entry from march 29, earlier tonight).. all stingy with shit. but i mean it when i say it. i cant stand when people are followers. im not doing this to be a leader, im doing it to be different than you. stop being malleable, get an identity and claim it as yr on. ive been this girl since i was 16. you change yr persona when you change boyfriends. dont morph into me, dont read the pages of my life or the quotes i choose and make them yr own.
so. im going to bed. i was gonna try to finish this cd, but its way long.. im sleepy. i need a new book. i started reading this side of paradise when i finished valley of the dolls, but for some reason i cant get into it. its no gatsby, thats for sure. ive read most of the classics.. and thats what i like best. im thinking about reading catch 22 or great expectations. im also into plays lately.. i read death of a salesman (i think i mentioned that, it made me cry on the PATH train), and some eugene o'neill.. eh. maybe i should just be content in my non reading for now. concentrate on the thesis.
oh yah i was going to bed.. sweet dreams... *and just as i typed that, the cd ended. good job gille!*
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