Friday, March 05, 2004
*a little bit more than i ever wanted, a little bit more than you could ever say.. did you really think that i'd forgotten? kicked out the windshield, water coming in, fade away, fade away..
push just a little too late. is this what you want? what you need? is this what you wanted me to be? always loved me strapped to you, lock it down and drive me through
i tried to give more than you thought i'd take now.. taking more than you could ever say. push come to shove you kicked me in the head, you knock me down i ripped the handle off again, i wanted more than this, wanted more than this, fade away, fade away..
push just a little too late..is this what you want? what you need? is this what you wanted me to be? always loved me strapped to you, lock it down and drive me through
hands gripped to the wheel held too tight to feel, face pressed to the glass, please don't ask.. one more breath, one more, it's alright.. i could never give enough, have enough, be enough, you could never stand to stay there.. only only only, fade away, fade away..
push just a little too late.. is this what you want? what you need? is this what you wanted me to be? always loved me strapped to you, lock it down and drive me through.. push just a little too late.. i wanted more than this.. i expected more than this..*
moist
im sleeeepy. i took the nyquil a while ago, and now im starting to feel dreamy and light. im smoking my last cig before bed right now, so i thought id babble for a minute.
i met a boy on myspace, he appears to be nice. we have a lot in common. i dont know if he like, likes me or whatnot, but he sent me a message the other night saying "i hope im not being too forward, but would you want to talk online some or get a cup of coffee?" of course my mind is getting ahead of me and im freaking out that ill have to give up the enigma. part of me is excited to get out of the cycle with him, and part of me wants to see how he'd react to me moving on and seeing someone else.. i never told him about victor, so he couldnt react.. but then, things never went anywhere with victor. not to say that they will with this boy, but i always worry about things that havent happened yet and could possibly not happen. im kinda freaked out about it though, cos i think hes great online, but thats happened to me sooo many times, meeting someone in hardcore chat on AOL in like 1997 and then meeting at a show and having there be no spark for me.. it lets me down sort of.
like frank. frank and i met in the hc chat in 97 or 98, and we like totally fell in love on the internet, but when we hung out, he was into me, but i was without spark.. and everything fell apart, we couldnt be friends.... speaking of frank. he IMed the other day. we hadnt talked in like a year.. he'll randomly IM me sometimes, and he's usually sarcastic and bitter, but HE imed ME, so i never get it.. i wonder how he would feel if he knew that i'd printed out all of his emails (from the adoring ones to the hate ridden ones), and they are neatly tucked into one of my journals.. i still have all of his desparate, threatening words...
but yah. i dont want it to go that way, i dont wanna feel like there could be something with this kid to have it fall flat at first sight. he said he was maybe gonna stop by chevys tomorrow night to dop off an application, bc he got fired from uno's today.. and he said he'd say hi.. so i guess if theres no spark we can nip it in the bud before i get involved with being interested in a person through a computer. which im THOROUGHLY AGAINST, by the way, even though ive met most of my friends through AOL.. from like hc chat back in the day.. or like my pace friends, who i met bc steve did an AOL search for "pace university" and IMed me, and it turned out that tom and i were like the male/female versions of each other.. and through tom i met sean and al and dennis and adam..
anyway. im going to bed, the eyelids are heavy.. sleep well.
push just a little too late. is this what you want? what you need? is this what you wanted me to be? always loved me strapped to you, lock it down and drive me through
i tried to give more than you thought i'd take now.. taking more than you could ever say. push come to shove you kicked me in the head, you knock me down i ripped the handle off again, i wanted more than this, wanted more than this, fade away, fade away..
push just a little too late..is this what you want? what you need? is this what you wanted me to be? always loved me strapped to you, lock it down and drive me through
hands gripped to the wheel held too tight to feel, face pressed to the glass, please don't ask.. one more breath, one more, it's alright.. i could never give enough, have enough, be enough, you could never stand to stay there.. only only only, fade away, fade away..
push just a little too late.. is this what you want? what you need? is this what you wanted me to be? always loved me strapped to you, lock it down and drive me through.. push just a little too late.. i wanted more than this.. i expected more than this..*
moist
im sleeeepy. i took the nyquil a while ago, and now im starting to feel dreamy and light. im smoking my last cig before bed right now, so i thought id babble for a minute.
i met a boy on myspace, he appears to be nice. we have a lot in common. i dont know if he like, likes me or whatnot, but he sent me a message the other night saying "i hope im not being too forward, but would you want to talk online some or get a cup of coffee?" of course my mind is getting ahead of me and im freaking out that ill have to give up the enigma. part of me is excited to get out of the cycle with him, and part of me wants to see how he'd react to me moving on and seeing someone else.. i never told him about victor, so he couldnt react.. but then, things never went anywhere with victor. not to say that they will with this boy, but i always worry about things that havent happened yet and could possibly not happen. im kinda freaked out about it though, cos i think hes great online, but thats happened to me sooo many times, meeting someone in hardcore chat on AOL in like 1997 and then meeting at a show and having there be no spark for me.. it lets me down sort of.
like frank. frank and i met in the hc chat in 97 or 98, and we like totally fell in love on the internet, but when we hung out, he was into me, but i was without spark.. and everything fell apart, we couldnt be friends.... speaking of frank. he IMed the other day. we hadnt talked in like a year.. he'll randomly IM me sometimes, and he's usually sarcastic and bitter, but HE imed ME, so i never get it.. i wonder how he would feel if he knew that i'd printed out all of his emails (from the adoring ones to the hate ridden ones), and they are neatly tucked into one of my journals.. i still have all of his desparate, threatening words...
but yah. i dont want it to go that way, i dont wanna feel like there could be something with this kid to have it fall flat at first sight. he said he was maybe gonna stop by chevys tomorrow night to dop off an application, bc he got fired from uno's today.. and he said he'd say hi.. so i guess if theres no spark we can nip it in the bud before i get involved with being interested in a person through a computer. which im THOROUGHLY AGAINST, by the way, even though ive met most of my friends through AOL.. from like hc chat back in the day.. or like my pace friends, who i met bc steve did an AOL search for "pace university" and IMed me, and it turned out that tom and i were like the male/female versions of each other.. and through tom i met sean and al and dennis and adam..
anyway. im going to bed, the eyelids are heavy.. sleep well.
Subscribe to Comments [Atom]