is it too late to heal?

alright. im way tired, but i wanted to get this in before i go to vegas. first of all, today and yesterday were the best days ive had in a really long time. im still really happy. lets see, well i worked saturday afternoon, which was ok. came home to get ready for the night. katie came over, then ryan. i had a shot of tequila, then kim, antonia, and val got here. i played my dashboard song for them on guitar, took another shot, opened the cards they got me, and we left. went to bowlmore lanes.. it was gonna be a 45 minute wait to bowl, so we went to the cocktail area. kim bought me an apple martini, and our lane got called. old school music was on, like faith no more's "we care a lot" and some pearl jam, poison, old madonna. it was awesome. mike got there, bought my another apple martini, we bowled. i dont know how i managed. i did quite poorly, i was way trashed. i got one strike and a lot of gutter balls. derek showed up, then lee. then came baxter, then bart, jesse, and justin. i hung all over baxter all night, lee bought me another drink which i didnt really drink at all. kim threw it back when we left, we got kicked out bc they were closing. we went to resevoir next door, but katie, val and antonia left early. baxter got me a drink but i couldnt even look at it. so i hung on him instead, cos he lets me and hes fun to flirt wth when im drunk. i was texting with the enigma, i dont even KNOW what i said, i was so drunk. h wishd me happy bday at 4am, and i was like "you are the best by ever, i wish you were here!!!" or something. and i kept responding to his messages but i have no idea what i typed past that. this morning i sent him a message apologizing if i was dumb, and he didnt respond so at like 7 i sent: "oh my, i must have said something really stupid cos i havent heard from you" and he wrote: "no not at all. dont be silly. you can say anything youd like to me." awww. so anyway it was like 4am, so we decided to leave, and we came back here (kim, baxter, candace, mike, and ryan). me and kim and baxter went into my room and passed out on my bed together (not kim, she laid there but didnt sleep cos she said her heart was flipping out).. ryan went home (he lives next door), mike slept on the couch. kim got up early to go to LI but she was all sick and panicky and stuff. so she finally felt ok enough to get going, baxter and i went back to bed for a while. he tried to call off work, but joey didnt answer his phone. so we got up at 2ish cos my mom was almost here and baxter didnt wanna be here when they got here. i woke up candace, we got ready and then we went to the city with my mom, jay, rich and emily.. met up with my dad and his clan, had dinner at carmines.. the food was just ok, i was a little disappointed. id rather have gone to olive garden for italian. it just wasnt too good. then we went to cafe lalo for dessert mmmmmm. cake. yum. i had a lot of fun, i was so happy. my dad called me at 9 and he was like "hi honey, i was just calling to tell you that we had a great time in the city with you tonight." and i was like AWWWWW my daddy loves me! i watched oceans eleven with candace to get psyched for tomorrow, then i packed. im fuckin exhausted right now. i hardly slept at all since like thursday. its starting to catch up to me. we'll have been in vegas for two hours at this time tomorrow. i have to get up at like 830 tomorrow, shower.. run to the PO then to the bank to make a deposit for just in case i need money in vegas (like if derek gets arrested haha), then come back here, drop off the package i had to get from the PO.. grab my luggage (its kinda heavy, i overpacked plus im bringing two pairs of shoes).. meet up with kimma at 1030 in midtown to go to h&m, then to get our manicures and pedicures. its gonna be cold and we're gonna be running around in flip flops. ugh. we have to leave the city by 215 to get to derek by 3, get a cab to jfk to be there by 4 at the latest. checking in will be a bitch bc kims license expired and her mail wasnt coming for a while cos her name isnt on the lease (something about a substitute mailman?), so her new one got sent back to dmv or something. and she forgot to get her student id validated, so she has no valid ID. which means that they will check her bags more extensively, which is annoying. our flight leaves at 550, its 1 hr and 41 mins long, and then we have a really short stopover in cleveland. the flight to vegas from there is like 3 hours. we get in at 9:48 vegas time, which is 12:48 am ny time, we're going to go check into the sahara and then begin to begin! oooh god. its gonna be raucus. i talked to mike before, and he was like "dereks a handful, vegas is gonna be crazy" cos he met derek last night at my bday. its kinda funny. i cant wait i cant wait! ok im going to bed, i need to wake up and not be super tired in the morning. ill see you thursday!!!!

VEGAS, BABY, VEGAS!!!!