Tuesday, April 20, 2004
*im sinkin like a stone in the sea.. im burnin like a bridge for yr body*
brand new
fuckin tuesday naps.. ryans comin over to watch high fidelity in a little while. i have to watch one tree hill first, and hes way late. so dinner, one tree hill, then high fidelity. so i took a nap bc it was sunny and i felt like i should go ahead and lay in the sun of my window and not think about my life. but the nightmares came. i think ive had this nightmare before. it felt like it happened already. it was like deja vu in a dream, and i kept thinking it was a dream, but i couldnt wake up bc i was already half awake but unconscious and unable to wake up.. yah. in the dream i was younger, and i didnt look like me (i kept seeing myself from above, or at a slight distance, then through the eyes..), and it felt like i was in a horror movie. there was like a retarded man that lived next door and my dad let him come over for dinner and then it turned out he was superstrong, kind like sloth from goonies.. like way birth defected but of monster strength. and he tried to kill us. but he was faught off, and then my parents told me he was executed, but he wasnt and he came back. but i think my mind *willed* it back, bc for a wee bit i felt calm. and i started thinking "this isnt how the movie would go" and bam. and when he came back, he looked like gale harold (brian kinney from queer as folk. hot, hot man) and my dad had a little silver gun i gave him, and another neighbor was there with a rifle and they kept shooting.. and then i forced myself awake. i wakled out here in a daze, with my phone and my coca cola classic. i put the coke on the armrest of the futon, as i always do, and i kinda feel onto the couch cos i was still kinda half asleep.. and the coke fell over and the cap wasnt on tight, so it spilled all over the living room when it was all explodey and i ran to get a towel.. but i was still trying to wake up.. so it was like a travesty.
*if looks could really kill, then my profession would be staring*
they are making a ton of noise upstairs. i think ryan is home bc he called me a few minutes ago. i told him i have no daytme minutes so i had to just wake up by his call, and that he should come over whenever he's ready. i think i want pizza for dinner. he better hurry. if i miss ONE minute of one tree hill i will CRY.
brand new
fuckin tuesday naps.. ryans comin over to watch high fidelity in a little while. i have to watch one tree hill first, and hes way late. so dinner, one tree hill, then high fidelity. so i took a nap bc it was sunny and i felt like i should go ahead and lay in the sun of my window and not think about my life. but the nightmares came. i think ive had this nightmare before. it felt like it happened already. it was like deja vu in a dream, and i kept thinking it was a dream, but i couldnt wake up bc i was already half awake but unconscious and unable to wake up.. yah. in the dream i was younger, and i didnt look like me (i kept seeing myself from above, or at a slight distance, then through the eyes..), and it felt like i was in a horror movie. there was like a retarded man that lived next door and my dad let him come over for dinner and then it turned out he was superstrong, kind like sloth from goonies.. like way birth defected but of monster strength. and he tried to kill us. but he was faught off, and then my parents told me he was executed, but he wasnt and he came back. but i think my mind *willed* it back, bc for a wee bit i felt calm. and i started thinking "this isnt how the movie would go" and bam. and when he came back, he looked like gale harold (brian kinney from queer as folk. hot, hot man) and my dad had a little silver gun i gave him, and another neighbor was there with a rifle and they kept shooting.. and then i forced myself awake. i wakled out here in a daze, with my phone and my coca cola classic. i put the coke on the armrest of the futon, as i always do, and i kinda feel onto the couch cos i was still kinda half asleep.. and the coke fell over and the cap wasnt on tight, so it spilled all over the living room when it was all explodey and i ran to get a towel.. but i was still trying to wake up.. so it was like a travesty.
*if looks could really kill, then my profession would be staring*
they are making a ton of noise upstairs. i think ryan is home bc he called me a few minutes ago. i told him i have no daytme minutes so i had to just wake up by his call, and that he should come over whenever he's ready. i think i want pizza for dinner. he better hurry. if i miss ONE minute of one tree hill i will CRY.
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