Wednesday, April 14, 2004
*shes been everybody else's girl, maybe one day she'll be her own*
tori amos
im feeling suspended today. like a waste of life. like i should go back to bed even though i just woke up 3 hours ago. and the king of queens is on in 25 minutes. im still in this awful place over that boy.. yesterday the messages were anything but enthusiastic, and he neglected to respond to me asking about his day. so whatever i guess. it must be true that im only worth the use of my body. i wonder if i'll end up like jennifer one day. from valley of the dolls. just giving up bc she was sure that she was nothing without her breasts. i mean, i dont have big boobs or anything, but i wonder if one day ill become so fed up with my life and the fact that im unloveable on a mental level that ill just be desperate and feel like its not worth it. i hope not.
i guess its better this way, with our lack of communication, bc i only have 35 daytime minutes left for the whole month. that has to last me seven days (cos there are two weekends in my cycle left).. my dad called me today but i have to wait till 9 to call him back. i feel bad bc he left a message saying "hi honey, i was just thinking of you and wanted to call and say hi." i should just call him back now, but..
i need a shower. and a nap. and a shower. why did i even get out of bed?
tori amos
im feeling suspended today. like a waste of life. like i should go back to bed even though i just woke up 3 hours ago. and the king of queens is on in 25 minutes. im still in this awful place over that boy.. yesterday the messages were anything but enthusiastic, and he neglected to respond to me asking about his day. so whatever i guess. it must be true that im only worth the use of my body. i wonder if i'll end up like jennifer one day. from valley of the dolls. just giving up bc she was sure that she was nothing without her breasts. i mean, i dont have big boobs or anything, but i wonder if one day ill become so fed up with my life and the fact that im unloveable on a mental level that ill just be desperate and feel like its not worth it. i hope not.
i guess its better this way, with our lack of communication, bc i only have 35 daytime minutes left for the whole month. that has to last me seven days (cos there are two weekends in my cycle left).. my dad called me today but i have to wait till 9 to call him back. i feel bad bc he left a message saying "hi honey, i was just thinking of you and wanted to call and say hi." i should just call him back now, but..
i need a shower. and a nap. and a shower. why did i even get out of bed?
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