Saturday, May 08, 2004
*you were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair, you were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care.. you stood in my doorway with nothing to say besides some comment on the weather.. in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you.. this is me down on my knees.. and these foolish games are are tearing me apart.. and yr thoughtless words are breaking my heart, yr breaking my heart..
..somewhere along the line i must have gone off track with you.. 'scuse me, think ive mistaken you for somebody else.. somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself.. these foolish games are tearing me, yr tearing me, tearing me apart... and yr thoughtless words are breaking my heart, yr breaking my heart..*
jewel.
i could imagine jewel having written these words about derek, for some reason. he seems to make sense in it. i mean, i dont feel that way, but for some reason, when i heard it, i pictured him as the one shes singing to. weird. i havent listened to jewel in forever. im listening to her first cd now bc it was on top of the pile and i was like "hey.. i havent listened to this in ages." candace must have listened to it recently.
work sucked. my last table left me zero dollars on $71. motherfuckers. it sucked bc this other table i had left me $20 on $53 and being stiffed by those ladies cancelled that awesome tip out. i made $113. so i took a cab home. i was supposed to drink with derek, but he pussed bc he picked up a 10:30am shift. i was like YOU SUCK. i was gonna see if lee wanted to go to westway, but i just ate chevy's food instead. so whatever, i was getting changed and jim was like "honey, yr getting fat" and i was like "I JUST ATE!!" and he was like "ok. well, its usually flat." grrr. shaena said i was getting fat the other day, too. fuckers. i am not. i was like "yo GORDA!!!" and erick was like "ella es loca!" it was kind of funny. i was on my way out and derek was like "hold on, ill smoke a cigarette with you" so i waited and we went outside and he was like "wanna work at 1030 instead?" and i was like "if you drink, ill switch shifts with you" but he said no, he cant tonight. i was like "but im gonna go home and wanna kill myself from boredom" and he was like "smoke some pot and go to sleep. we'll drink tuesday." tuesday?! fiiiiine. anyway so then jim came outside to smoke and he decided that derek and i would make a cute couple. and when i hugged derek goodbye, jim was like "awww there it is!" hahaha. jim is such a gossip queen though. every time i leave with a boy, we're hooking up in his mind. when he sees me leaving with baxter or bart or lee or whoever, he looks over and goes "hmmmm" really loudly, and says hes adding so-and-so to his list.
yah so that was pretty much my whole day. work. i only woke up at 240. took a shower, watched classmates, ambush makeover. the G was late (it usually gets there at 425, today it came at 428!), and then it was held at 21st st for like 5 minutes. got to court sq, and guess what, no train comes for 15 minutes. and when one finally DOES come, its 448, and its a V! ugh. so we get to Lex and the train is held for 5 minutes. 5 more minutes at 53rd/5th. im like "UM?" bc obviously there is no train in front of it. i waited 15 minutes for that one! so we finally get to 42nd St and its 5. i like RAN to chevys (ok, no i didnt, i walked briskly though), ran upstairs, threw on my pants and put on my shirt over my tank top.. and the meeting was over. i found bob, and i was like "im really sorry, i didnt call bc i didnt know i was gonna be late, i waited for the train... blah blah blah" and he said it was ok, so wooo. i was afraid i would get sent home. so he took my arm (a very bob thing to do), and he was like "we'll tell them you called me, and said you were going to be a few minutes late." yay for bob. its such a shame that he is abandoning us for nevada. but then, i would be out if i could. two and a half more months...
now im chillin. i took nyquil a bit ago, i feel like poop. well im actually feeling slightly better than i had been, i slept like 12 hours last night. i went to bed mad early. like 2 am. ive only been awake for 13 hours, but im hoping the nyquil will make that fact inconsequential.
i messaged the enigma this morning to say i hoped he was having a good day, and he said it was ok. that was pretty much it. nothing stellar to report. looks like i will have to not message him for a few days to get the stellar messages back. we shall see. im def gonna message him tomorrow to make sure he knows ill be around for three days. i really wish i didnt have to go to LI tomorrow. reallllllly. i wish i could just go sunday AM. i think that would be soo better. if i could get up at like 10 and go out there by 1230.. that would be ok. i might call my mom tomorrow and see if thats ok. cos really, im not gonna get off work till like 6. back to brooklyn by 7. i wouldnt get to LI till like 1030 anyway. i may as well stay here. she might be mad though. ugh. we'll see. maybe i can get her to agree if i say ill get a 10ish train.. be out there by 1130am. i could get up at 9.. that would be ok, cos ill have nothing to do but go to bed sun night anyway.. i mean, its not like mad people will be hanging out sunday night, seeing as its mothers day. and the enigma has a show, so i doubt i'll see him. we shall see, shant we. i think ill call my mom tomorrow to see if thats gonna fly with her. it probably wont, but.. i can try.
blah. so its now 346am. and im feeling a little sleepy, so i think i might go lay down. i have some text messages to transcribe. cos you know, i gotta keep that paper trail of heartbreak. xoxo
..somewhere along the line i must have gone off track with you.. 'scuse me, think ive mistaken you for somebody else.. somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself.. these foolish games are tearing me, yr tearing me, tearing me apart... and yr thoughtless words are breaking my heart, yr breaking my heart..*
jewel.
i could imagine jewel having written these words about derek, for some reason. he seems to make sense in it. i mean, i dont feel that way, but for some reason, when i heard it, i pictured him as the one shes singing to. weird. i havent listened to jewel in forever. im listening to her first cd now bc it was on top of the pile and i was like "hey.. i havent listened to this in ages." candace must have listened to it recently.
work sucked. my last table left me zero dollars on $71. motherfuckers. it sucked bc this other table i had left me $20 on $53 and being stiffed by those ladies cancelled that awesome tip out. i made $113. so i took a cab home. i was supposed to drink with derek, but he pussed bc he picked up a 10:30am shift. i was like YOU SUCK. i was gonna see if lee wanted to go to westway, but i just ate chevy's food instead. so whatever, i was getting changed and jim was like "honey, yr getting fat" and i was like "I JUST ATE!!" and he was like "ok. well, its usually flat." grrr. shaena said i was getting fat the other day, too. fuckers. i am not. i was like "yo GORDA!!!" and erick was like "ella es loca!" it was kind of funny. i was on my way out and derek was like "hold on, ill smoke a cigarette with you" so i waited and we went outside and he was like "wanna work at 1030 instead?" and i was like "if you drink, ill switch shifts with you" but he said no, he cant tonight. i was like "but im gonna go home and wanna kill myself from boredom" and he was like "smoke some pot and go to sleep. we'll drink tuesday." tuesday?! fiiiiine. anyway so then jim came outside to smoke and he decided that derek and i would make a cute couple. and when i hugged derek goodbye, jim was like "awww there it is!" hahaha. jim is such a gossip queen though. every time i leave with a boy, we're hooking up in his mind. when he sees me leaving with baxter or bart or lee or whoever, he looks over and goes "hmmmm" really loudly, and says hes adding so-and-so to his list.
yah so that was pretty much my whole day. work. i only woke up at 240. took a shower, watched classmates, ambush makeover. the G was late (it usually gets there at 425, today it came at 428!), and then it was held at 21st st for like 5 minutes. got to court sq, and guess what, no train comes for 15 minutes. and when one finally DOES come, its 448, and its a V! ugh. so we get to Lex and the train is held for 5 minutes. 5 more minutes at 53rd/5th. im like "UM?" bc obviously there is no train in front of it. i waited 15 minutes for that one! so we finally get to 42nd St and its 5. i like RAN to chevys (ok, no i didnt, i walked briskly though), ran upstairs, threw on my pants and put on my shirt over my tank top.. and the meeting was over. i found bob, and i was like "im really sorry, i didnt call bc i didnt know i was gonna be late, i waited for the train... blah blah blah" and he said it was ok, so wooo. i was afraid i would get sent home. so he took my arm (a very bob thing to do), and he was like "we'll tell them you called me, and said you were going to be a few minutes late." yay for bob. its such a shame that he is abandoning us for nevada. but then, i would be out if i could. two and a half more months...
now im chillin. i took nyquil a bit ago, i feel like poop. well im actually feeling slightly better than i had been, i slept like 12 hours last night. i went to bed mad early. like 2 am. ive only been awake for 13 hours, but im hoping the nyquil will make that fact inconsequential.
i messaged the enigma this morning to say i hoped he was having a good day, and he said it was ok. that was pretty much it. nothing stellar to report. looks like i will have to not message him for a few days to get the stellar messages back. we shall see. im def gonna message him tomorrow to make sure he knows ill be around for three days. i really wish i didnt have to go to LI tomorrow. reallllllly. i wish i could just go sunday AM. i think that would be soo better. if i could get up at like 10 and go out there by 1230.. that would be ok. i might call my mom tomorrow and see if thats ok. cos really, im not gonna get off work till like 6. back to brooklyn by 7. i wouldnt get to LI till like 1030 anyway. i may as well stay here. she might be mad though. ugh. we'll see. maybe i can get her to agree if i say ill get a 10ish train.. be out there by 1130am. i could get up at 9.. that would be ok, cos ill have nothing to do but go to bed sun night anyway.. i mean, its not like mad people will be hanging out sunday night, seeing as its mothers day. and the enigma has a show, so i doubt i'll see him. we shall see, shant we. i think ill call my mom tomorrow to see if thats gonna fly with her. it probably wont, but.. i can try.
blah. so its now 346am. and im feeling a little sleepy, so i think i might go lay down. i have some text messages to transcribe. cos you know, i gotta keep that paper trail of heartbreak. xoxo
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