Monday, July 19, 2004
here i am. here i am! whee. im soooooo bored.
today was fun fun! i got up at noon, as planned. we settled right into movies, and we watched peter pan first. after that we watched texas chainsaw massacre, then the butterfly effect. after that we took a break for the mexican fiesta. we ate tacos and we cleaned out the fridge. its all bright and roomy in there now. after that we had cake and watched extreme make-over: home edition, and then law and order: criminal intent. ok after we got that out of our systems we watched monster, which was certainly intense. then 50 first dates, to round out the evening. we finished at 2 am, put the futon back into couch position, and here i am. i smoked a little. it didnt do much. boo.
soooo. kim called me today but i didnt feel like answering. i was busy with candace. ill call her back tomorrow, i guess. i havent got anything to say to her, strangely.
annnnd i talked to the enigma. ok, well, i texted with him. got him to admit they were playing cbgb tonight, but he told me laura was supposed to be there. so i said good luck with that. i asked if he was still gonna wanna see me tuesday if they reconciled tonight.. he said that one night wasnt going to fix a years worth of problems and that he def wants to see me if i wanna see him. so i said i did. i seethed with jealousy. and then i thought that perhaps tuesday should be the last time i see him. because i think that as much as he doesnt want to admit it to me, he is in love with laura.. and he could never commit to me. i could never mean that much to him. he jokes around about living together, and how if id told him about something we could already be in vegas getting married.. but its joking and its fantasy, and i need to forget it and move on. so. i might say goodbye wednesday afternoon, and i might mean it. part of me is like "are you crazy, so close to living near him?!" but the other part is like "fuck it. yr better off celibate." so. we shall see.
today was fun fun! i got up at noon, as planned. we settled right into movies, and we watched peter pan first. after that we watched texas chainsaw massacre, then the butterfly effect. after that we took a break for the mexican fiesta. we ate tacos and we cleaned out the fridge. its all bright and roomy in there now. after that we had cake and watched extreme make-over: home edition, and then law and order: criminal intent. ok after we got that out of our systems we watched monster, which was certainly intense. then 50 first dates, to round out the evening. we finished at 2 am, put the futon back into couch position, and here i am. i smoked a little. it didnt do much. boo.
soooo. kim called me today but i didnt feel like answering. i was busy with candace. ill call her back tomorrow, i guess. i havent got anything to say to her, strangely.
annnnd i talked to the enigma. ok, well, i texted with him. got him to admit they were playing cbgb tonight, but he told me laura was supposed to be there. so i said good luck with that. i asked if he was still gonna wanna see me tuesday if they reconciled tonight.. he said that one night wasnt going to fix a years worth of problems and that he def wants to see me if i wanna see him. so i said i did. i seethed with jealousy. and then i thought that perhaps tuesday should be the last time i see him. because i think that as much as he doesnt want to admit it to me, he is in love with laura.. and he could never commit to me. i could never mean that much to him. he jokes around about living together, and how if id told him about something we could already be in vegas getting married.. but its joking and its fantasy, and i need to forget it and move on. so. i might say goodbye wednesday afternoon, and i might mean it. part of me is like "are you crazy, so close to living near him?!" but the other part is like "fuck it. yr better off celibate." so. we shall see.
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