is it too late to heal?

so this feeling of never seeing him again persists. i keep having weird thoughts, mainly bc he was on AIM when i left my apartment, and also when i got back, and then he signed off at like 330 or 4. so he was online. so my mind is like "maybe he was talking to laura all night" and then i start thinking that he wants so badly to work things wout with her that he would probably give me up. i remember in feb 03 when we talked about this, bc i told him he couldnt do that again, and he said that she wasnt like suzanne, she was cool with girls. but.. i dont know i mean, we were not yet sleeping together when we had this discussion. soooo.. i dont know. i had this flash for a second that i would get an email from him saying goodbye. but that would be so pussy of him. and i really dont think he could... bc i mean, i have tried to get some space and he waits eight days before thinking of me and missing me so much that he texts me, even though i *said* i would get in touch with him when *i* was ready. and he texted me a question, so it would have been rude for me to not respond when it was just a harmless querry about where i had stayed in vegas. so i dont know. i just have this terrible feeling, and it makes me half sick to think about it.

anyway. kimberly is here, i shall go to bed now.