Tuesday, July 13, 2004
*this will hurt you but in time you will understand that i would never want to be in [her] shoes, but i would do anything to take [her] place.*
penfold
thats pretty much the perfect lyric for this whole boy situation, isnt it?
today has been ok. mildly productive. i got up at 1045, went to therapy. it was ok. she kept trying to change the subject. i was trying to talk about other things. like how im concerned about derek. i made a deposit at the bank, then i came back to greenpoint. i went to chase and paid my credit card bill, then i went to the post office and picked up my face wash. sephora stopped carrying anna sui, so i had to get it online. i ordered three, but they only charged me for one, and sent one. i will have to order more, i dont want to run out again. i did without for like a week and a half! anyway, so i got my milky cleanser, then i came home. i was texting with the enigma, and we decided to make up things that would be awesome.. my story was that we would wake up at like 2, then go to the beach, play in the sand and ocean, then watch the sunset and play on the beach. then we would go to a bad movie so we could have an empty theater. after that, we would get take out and rent a movie and cuddle on the couch. his was: "how bout if we go to atlantic city walk around for a comfortable evening. get a room at the tallest hotel. while taking the elevator up, the power goes out... if that doesnt happen we just find the nearest hot tub.. which can be in our room and make out hardcore." heheh. sounds good to me! whilst we conversed i did laundry. three loads, but they were real small. i had towels, lights and darks. most of my clothes could not go in the dryer, as it is summer and my tank tops shrink. i forgot to bring out beach towels, i meant to wash those, but they are in candace's room and i forgot about them. i dount i will make it back to the laundromat this week, but hopefully candace will go saturday. i maybe will go back friday just to wash my uniform. if i do, ill bring the beach towels. so ive been watching court shows all afternoon, dispersed with trips to the laundromat. now the news is on. i did yesterdays crossword puzzle, it was hard for a monday.
part of me wants to go take a nap. the weather is dispicable, its like spitting rain and cold and windy. my first message to the boy today was something like "its cold and rainy here today, the perfect day to stay in bed and cuddle. i wish you werent hundreds of miles away." he said it was really hot in NC. they are presently driving to atlanta to meet up with scraps and heart attacks, and then go on to alabama. he said yesterday that he thinks he will be home on the 19th for a few days. hopefully we will get together. i just wanna hang out. i would kind of rather if nothing physical happened.. id like to just do something, like see a movie (though im sure that would end in making out), or i dont know. something. just hang out. i dont think that either of our good day fantasies can ever be lived out if we arent together. i mean, i would LOVE to go to A.C. or vegas with him, that would be so rad.. but i dont wanna do such things as the other woman. well. actually, i dont wanna do *anything* as the other woman anymore.. we will see how long my will to not kiss him holds out. i would put my money on half hour, tops, once he is in my presence. grrr.
bbbbaaaahhhh.. 5:25.. nap? no nap? sooo bored! candace will be home around 7. ok. nap wins. xoxo.
penfold
thats pretty much the perfect lyric for this whole boy situation, isnt it?
today has been ok. mildly productive. i got up at 1045, went to therapy. it was ok. she kept trying to change the subject. i was trying to talk about other things. like how im concerned about derek. i made a deposit at the bank, then i came back to greenpoint. i went to chase and paid my credit card bill, then i went to the post office and picked up my face wash. sephora stopped carrying anna sui, so i had to get it online. i ordered three, but they only charged me for one, and sent one. i will have to order more, i dont want to run out again. i did without for like a week and a half! anyway, so i got my milky cleanser, then i came home. i was texting with the enigma, and we decided to make up things that would be awesome.. my story was that we would wake up at like 2, then go to the beach, play in the sand and ocean, then watch the sunset and play on the beach. then we would go to a bad movie so we could have an empty theater. after that, we would get take out and rent a movie and cuddle on the couch. his was: "how bout if we go to atlantic city walk around for a comfortable evening. get a room at the tallest hotel. while taking the elevator up, the power goes out... if that doesnt happen we just find the nearest hot tub.. which can be in our room and make out hardcore." heheh. sounds good to me! whilst we conversed i did laundry. three loads, but they were real small. i had towels, lights and darks. most of my clothes could not go in the dryer, as it is summer and my tank tops shrink. i forgot to bring out beach towels, i meant to wash those, but they are in candace's room and i forgot about them. i dount i will make it back to the laundromat this week, but hopefully candace will go saturday. i maybe will go back friday just to wash my uniform. if i do, ill bring the beach towels. so ive been watching court shows all afternoon, dispersed with trips to the laundromat. now the news is on. i did yesterdays crossword puzzle, it was hard for a monday.
part of me wants to go take a nap. the weather is dispicable, its like spitting rain and cold and windy. my first message to the boy today was something like "its cold and rainy here today, the perfect day to stay in bed and cuddle. i wish you werent hundreds of miles away." he said it was really hot in NC. they are presently driving to atlanta to meet up with scraps and heart attacks, and then go on to alabama. he said yesterday that he thinks he will be home on the 19th for a few days. hopefully we will get together. i just wanna hang out. i would kind of rather if nothing physical happened.. id like to just do something, like see a movie (though im sure that would end in making out), or i dont know. something. just hang out. i dont think that either of our good day fantasies can ever be lived out if we arent together. i mean, i would LOVE to go to A.C. or vegas with him, that would be so rad.. but i dont wanna do such things as the other woman. well. actually, i dont wanna do *anything* as the other woman anymore.. we will see how long my will to not kiss him holds out. i would put my money on half hour, tops, once he is in my presence. grrr.
bbbbaaaahhhh.. 5:25.. nap? no nap? sooo bored! candace will be home around 7. ok. nap wins. xoxo.
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