Friday, July 16, 2004
*you are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins*
brand new
eeep! im tired. i bought robitussin pm for tonight, since nyquil has not been keeping my cough supressed, nor has it been keeping me asleep. the past two nights, i have woken up like hourly, feeling like id slept through the night. i must have had a bunch of dreams. i woke up at like 6 am both days coughing uncontrollably. i got a text message from the boy at like 10:55, but it didnt wake me. i saw it blinking at like 1. i then texted with him for like an hour while i drifted in and out of sleep. i reread the messages before, and i was like "that was me?" oops. well, not oops. but i was def being more risque than usually, and especially since im supposed to be restrained. ha, though. i am the anti-restrained. and when im miserable again in a few days, i'll blame myself. i really think i must be insane, bc i think if i were sane, i would see this pattern and abort the mission i am on to make him love me. we have plans for tuesday night.. we were talking about going to atlantic city, but when i told him i get home at 930, he seemed less wanting to go there, and more wanting to just come here and spend the night. he said he was into the hotel, but wasnt going to gamble.. so its like.. well, what else would we do in ac? so i guess the new plan is that hes coming here to spend the night on tuesday.. his first day off. and then wednesday, we will possibly go to the beach. this is the plan. what will really happen? alright. i think there are a few possibilities.. lets divide it into percents, shall we?
there is a ..
35% chance that: he will get here at 10 tuesday night, but instead of spending the night, he will leave at like 2. *or* he'll spend the night, but leave at like 9 or 10am.
25% chance that: he'll cancel.
17% chance that: he'll cancel tuesday, but try to come another day.
13% chance that: he'll get here at 10 tuesday night, and stay all day wednesday, but we wont go to the beach, or leave my house, or put on clothes...
10% chance that: he will come here at 10 tuesday night, we'll get a meal, watch a movie, sleep, wake up multiple times at night, get up, go to the beach, come back here and cuddle/hang out.. and he'll leave later in the day on wednesday.
this 10% is a VERY HIGH estimate, simply bc i have run out of possible scenarios. also, the 35% chance is a very high estimate. i think the true highest percent will be that he will cancel. i just didnt want to have to admit that to myself. he's all talking about how he cant wait to see me blah blah blah, but. when it comes down to it, i am never sure that he will, in face, come through.
work was ok tonight. easy. funny. text-ful. it was me and jesse and cynthia upstairs. good times. i talked to my mom for a few minutes. its been interesting. ok, im lying. it has been the anti-interesting. im bored to tears here. and im hungry. im craving cookies hardcore. not even discriminitely, i would take ANY cookie right now. but alas, there are no cookies to be had in our house. its not *too* late, i could go to the bodega, but eh. id rather be hungry than go out this late. i should have picked up food when i got my cokes, but i thought "eh."
so, tuesday is still FOUR days away. four, four, four.. two more shifts at chevys, and then three LONG days off. i have no plans for *any* of those days, until 7pm tuesday night, when i have to be at twons record release. and i will stay there until i hear from the enigma boy, letting me know he is leaving his house, so i can leave the party. eeeee!! i get so excited when i think about it. we havent spent the night together since june 2003!! oh wait, this sounds familiar. wasnt i saying these things when he was supposed to stay over a few wednesdays ago, and then his alarm started freaking out, and his car wouldnt start? that was all a lot of crap, im sure. id bet he just was tired or something like that.
the zoloft commercials are soo cute.
and wasnt the "november rain" video sad?
brand new
eeep! im tired. i bought robitussin pm for tonight, since nyquil has not been keeping my cough supressed, nor has it been keeping me asleep. the past two nights, i have woken up like hourly, feeling like id slept through the night. i must have had a bunch of dreams. i woke up at like 6 am both days coughing uncontrollably. i got a text message from the boy at like 10:55, but it didnt wake me. i saw it blinking at like 1. i then texted with him for like an hour while i drifted in and out of sleep. i reread the messages before, and i was like "that was me?" oops. well, not oops. but i was def being more risque than usually, and especially since im supposed to be restrained. ha, though. i am the anti-restrained. and when im miserable again in a few days, i'll blame myself. i really think i must be insane, bc i think if i were sane, i would see this pattern and abort the mission i am on to make him love me. we have plans for tuesday night.. we were talking about going to atlantic city, but when i told him i get home at 930, he seemed less wanting to go there, and more wanting to just come here and spend the night. he said he was into the hotel, but wasnt going to gamble.. so its like.. well, what else would we do in ac? so i guess the new plan is that hes coming here to spend the night on tuesday.. his first day off. and then wednesday, we will possibly go to the beach. this is the plan. what will really happen? alright. i think there are a few possibilities.. lets divide it into percents, shall we?
there is a ..
35% chance that: he will get here at 10 tuesday night, but instead of spending the night, he will leave at like 2. *or* he'll spend the night, but leave at like 9 or 10am.
25% chance that: he'll cancel.
17% chance that: he'll cancel tuesday, but try to come another day.
13% chance that: he'll get here at 10 tuesday night, and stay all day wednesday, but we wont go to the beach, or leave my house, or put on clothes...
10% chance that: he will come here at 10 tuesday night, we'll get a meal, watch a movie, sleep, wake up multiple times at night, get up, go to the beach, come back here and cuddle/hang out.. and he'll leave later in the day on wednesday.
this 10% is a VERY HIGH estimate, simply bc i have run out of possible scenarios. also, the 35% chance is a very high estimate. i think the true highest percent will be that he will cancel. i just didnt want to have to admit that to myself. he's all talking about how he cant wait to see me blah blah blah, but. when it comes down to it, i am never sure that he will, in face, come through.
work was ok tonight. easy. funny. text-ful. it was me and jesse and cynthia upstairs. good times. i talked to my mom for a few minutes. its been interesting. ok, im lying. it has been the anti-interesting. im bored to tears here. and im hungry. im craving cookies hardcore. not even discriminitely, i would take ANY cookie right now. but alas, there are no cookies to be had in our house. its not *too* late, i could go to the bodega, but eh. id rather be hungry than go out this late. i should have picked up food when i got my cokes, but i thought "eh."
so, tuesday is still FOUR days away. four, four, four.. two more shifts at chevys, and then three LONG days off. i have no plans for *any* of those days, until 7pm tuesday night, when i have to be at twons record release. and i will stay there until i hear from the enigma boy, letting me know he is leaving his house, so i can leave the party. eeeee!! i get so excited when i think about it. we havent spent the night together since june 2003!! oh wait, this sounds familiar. wasnt i saying these things when he was supposed to stay over a few wednesdays ago, and then his alarm started freaking out, and his car wouldnt start? that was all a lot of crap, im sure. id bet he just was tired or something like that.
the zoloft commercials are soo cute.
and wasnt the "november rain" video sad?
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