is it too late to heal?

sometimes i hate my job. i mean, i love it there, the kids i have met are awesome, and they make me feel really good on a daily basis. like this morning, i walk in to the school, and this 10th grader, tom is talking to someone and hes like "oh wait, hold on.. coolest sub ever!" and walks over to me, and hes like "who are you subbing today?" and i told him i was on my way to find out, and he goes "i hope its one of my teachers!" and i was like aww. then i was with my kids in learning center, and i have been preparing all these review sheets for them so they have something to study for the regents which is in 7 days and i showed alexis, and she was like "i love you, yr so good to me." and i that made me feel good.. but like, the other teachers, they seriously treat me like im a second class citizen, they ignore me. i was sitting in the faculty room with someone and he said that my presence isnt that of a teacher. he said i would be more appreciated in a college setting, bc high schools arent looking for people with my kind of "independent spark." i understand that thats a compliment and all, but i like high school kids, i like my job, i think i am incredibly effective in the classroom. seriously, i teach ONE class, and its the worst class that NO ONE wants because its all just doing review with regents failures.. and its not even that the kids arent smart, because they are, the system is just failing them, and they fail their classes and tests because they are too busy cutting. and they NEVER cut my class. before he got into his fighting debacle, nick came every day. he had 20 unexcused absences before that. alexis comes every day, and she had a bunch of cuts before i became their teacher. brittany i think hated me at first, but after the first week, when she saw that i just want to help her, that changed and now shes really sweet and she comes to class when she doesnt have mono. what really sucks, is that we dont have a department chair due to stupid crap, and so there is no one to notice what i do, or how i am with my kids. also, working in a high school is just lke going to high school, the teachers are way cliquey. i have nothing in common with them, and i dont wanna like, hang out outside of school or anything, but i also dont like feeling intentionally ignored, or like im getting cold shoulder from people. fuck that.i know im not inadequate, but i fucking feel it. i know i wont be getting a job there next year, since people treat me like im not even there now. im a smart girl, i have a MA in history, and i cant get a job teaching social studies? work is something i have historically been pretty good at. i loved waiting tables, i was good at it, it was like acting only there wasnt a real audience. i could be as dramatic as i liked. i loved the people i worked with. now im stuck getting up early every morning to go to a job i could potentially love if i had a real teachers schedule instead of one class and sub the rest of the day with a bunch of kids i love and adults i cant stand. i know im good enough, but going there makes me feel like im not.and the battle continues, of me knowing im better than the rest of the world makes me feel. i get so tired of this crap, i get tired of feeling like im not good enough for stupid boys, or not good enough for stupid schools, or not good enough for anything. and i shouldnt have to convince anyone that i am an amazing girl. everyone should just know.