is it too late to heal?

*yr hiding something, cos it’s burning through your eyes. i try to get it out, but all i hear from you are lies.. and i can tell you’re going through the motions, i figured you were acting out your part.. once again, we’re playing off emotion which one of us will burn until the end? catalyst, you insist to pull me down you contradict the fact that you still want me around and it’s all downhill from here and it’s all downhill from here.. yr good intentions slowly turn to bitterness. reoccurring episodes with each and every kiss (let’s go!) and i can tell you’re going through the motions, i figured you were acting out your part.. once again, we’re playing off emotion which one of us will burn until the end? catalyst, you insist to pull me down you contradict the fact that you still want me around and it’s all downhill from here and it’s all downhill from here.. and i can’t believe you pulled it off again, or notice till it all sets in, you’ll deny it til yr at your bitter end.. and i can tell you’re going through the motions, i figured you were acting out your part.. once again, we’re playing off emotion which one of us will burn until the end? catalyst, you insist to pull me down you contradict the fact that you still want me around and it’s all downhill from here and it’s all downhill from here.. and you keep pulling me down!(pulling me down)(pulling me down) you contradict the fact that you still want me around, and it’s all downhill from here.. and it’s all downhill from here*
newfoundglory.

so. i got up this morning, early, and i showered. i picked out super nice clothes. i ulled my hair back pretty. and you stood me up. i mean, i knew you would. you always do.

the thing i dont get, though, is why yr so mean about things all the time. like, if you dont wanna see me, then dont pretend like you do. if i ask you if you want me to bring you soup tomorrow, cos yr sick, and you say "sure, why not? call me tomorrow." then why do you mean "ha. call me tomorrow, and i wont answer."? just fucking get it over with, tell me you really only want to talk to me when im not near you, so that im keeping you company when yr away, but yr too busy when yr home. why not make something up? the conversation could have gone much more easily. i could have asked you if you wanted me to bring you soup, and you could have said any number of things. a) "i dont think ill be feeling up to company." b) "i have plans tomorrow to record and i dont think ill have time." c) "i have a job interview." anything. just not "sure, why not?" especially when i know yr gonna stand me up..

so now my clock says 4:25pm. i placed a call to you at 2:57pm. almost 2 hours ago. yesterday, when i signed off aim, i said "so ill call you tomorrow between 245 and 3 cos i dont get recepion in school. and then ill bring you soup to nourish yr sick self!" and you said, "ok cool. sounds good." by now it should have clicked that i said i was gonna call you. but maybe later you'll text me (you will not call to apologize!), and youll say you just woke up. or that you were recording.

he said he had to record some guitar tracks, but he said "call me".

i fucking hate you.