Wednesday, July 04, 2007
that's when it turned on me a motorcade of 'meant to be's’ parades of beauty queens where soft entwines make kindling these many detailed things like broken nails and plastic rings will win by keeping me from speaking to my new darling and there's no way to know our future foe scenarios that's when it turned on me where bobby pins hold angel wings
*silversun pickups*
i might be somewhat obsessed with the above band. and the above song.
i'm tired. it's 2:24am. very exciting nothing going on. fourth of july. fourth of the first month of my boring summer. i need something to do. someone to do.
atlantic city in 10 or 11 days. sweeeet. going with tom. the debacle of friends with benefits continues. i don't know why. it actually makes no sense. he's cute and helpless and needs someone to look after him. he's like a baby bird. i'm, for some reason, attracted to this. but he thinks we're better as friends. so i am, effectively, a place holder, until someone better comes along. such is the story of my life. i'm dispensable. like with joe.. i was an emotional place holder. he wasn't happy with his girlfriend, and i relieved him of his needs. but i'm somewhat detached from tom now, though i do still feel good when he cuddles me. really good. maybe it's just the cuddles and nothing more. he's a super cuddly sloth. maybe i'll see him before then. i stayed at his place in jersey last monday AND friday. minday was weird when i got there because we had argued the day before. i called him typical. he was hurt and upset. but invited me to poker the next night. and insisted i stay the night. then he invited me to go to a show on friday. and i stayed the night. and the whole next day. and he didn't want me to leave when i did. but i'm sure it's just because i'm a warm body. he told me he thinks we're better as friends. he doesn't want me. but he wants my dirty text messages. go figure.
there has been some talk of going to the next level in atlantic city. it was sober discussion. but fueled by heavy making out. i'm afraid to make the move. he wants to, but didn't think we should a few weeks ago. friday he seemed to change his tune. i cannot get any more emotionally involved in this.
20 days until costa rica!!!!
i got a job. i'm pretty psyched. same pay, 1/5 of the amount of students. no colleagues. i get to work alone. i AM the social studies department. very exciting. so i don't have to move in december which is the most exciting aspect of this gaining of a job. YAY.
my kitty is gorgeous.. she's sleeping. i love her more than i love anything in the world. if only i could meet a guy that makes me feel that way.
sleep? sleeeeep......
*silversun pickups*
i might be somewhat obsessed with the above band. and the above song.
i'm tired. it's 2:24am. very exciting nothing going on. fourth of july. fourth of the first month of my boring summer. i need something to do. someone to do.
atlantic city in 10 or 11 days. sweeeet. going with tom. the debacle of friends with benefits continues. i don't know why. it actually makes no sense. he's cute and helpless and needs someone to look after him. he's like a baby bird. i'm, for some reason, attracted to this. but he thinks we're better as friends. so i am, effectively, a place holder, until someone better comes along. such is the story of my life. i'm dispensable. like with joe.. i was an emotional place holder. he wasn't happy with his girlfriend, and i relieved him of his needs. but i'm somewhat detached from tom now, though i do still feel good when he cuddles me. really good. maybe it's just the cuddles and nothing more. he's a super cuddly sloth. maybe i'll see him before then. i stayed at his place in jersey last monday AND friday. minday was weird when i got there because we had argued the day before. i called him typical. he was hurt and upset. but invited me to poker the next night. and insisted i stay the night. then he invited me to go to a show on friday. and i stayed the night. and the whole next day. and he didn't want me to leave when i did. but i'm sure it's just because i'm a warm body. he told me he thinks we're better as friends. he doesn't want me. but he wants my dirty text messages. go figure.
there has been some talk of going to the next level in atlantic city. it was sober discussion. but fueled by heavy making out. i'm afraid to make the move. he wants to, but didn't think we should a few weeks ago. friday he seemed to change his tune. i cannot get any more emotionally involved in this.
20 days until costa rica!!!!
i got a job. i'm pretty psyched. same pay, 1/5 of the amount of students. no colleagues. i get to work alone. i AM the social studies department. very exciting. so i don't have to move in december which is the most exciting aspect of this gaining of a job. YAY.
my kitty is gorgeous.. she's sleeping. i love her more than i love anything in the world. if only i could meet a guy that makes me feel that way.
sleep? sleeeeep......
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