Thursday, September 27, 2007
8 days that i wish would drag on forever. i'm supposed to be thrilled that there are only 8 days left, afterall, 8 is my favorite number. only i hate you a lot now so i don't want to see you or for october 6th to even come.
dad and aunt paula came out for dinner tonight. very nice. we had chinese. it was good to see her, she's one of my favorite relatives. they hung out here for a little, too, so that was nice. i'm happy that it wasn't like, eat and run. they are going to the poconos this weekend, so i wouldn't have had a chance to see her otherwise.
sooooo.. JOE is coming over. tonight. AHH. i IMed him this morning bc he had been in my dream, and i told him. so he asked what it was about when i was at work, and i responded like 45 mins ago that it was naughty. then he asked where i was living now, and said he'd stop by tonight "quick". sooo i doubt we'll do anything except hang out for a minute but i have high hopes that there is potential my dry spell will end tonight. however, when we were together a year ago (almost to the day! that was like oct 1!), it was a bad experience. i will definitely be putting on something sexy regardless. not noticeably sexy, i don't want him to think i dressed sexy for him! but sexy. anyway i def have my fingers crossed because i think my life would be so much happier and i wouldn't hate tom so much if i knew i had cheated on the feelings i have for him. he's on okcupid right now, anyway, probably chatting with some ladies. which is fine, because i don't give a fuck. he can have any other girl he wants. he is not going to have me.
joe won't be here until like midnight. i love that i don't have feelings for him anymore, but am still willing to stay up all night to hang out with him. tomorrow is friday, i can be as tired as i want. i just have to wake up on time. as long as i get through the day i can come home and nap!
i wonder if tom will text me before next friday comes. can he go 8 days without contact? i certainly won't break down. i have nothing to say to him anyway. i would say no, that i won't hear from him. i'll wait till after work on friday, too, like the evening, maybe even the night. because i don't care anymore! does my insistence that i don't care mean that i really truly do care?
my mind races at about 200mph while i try to convince myself that you are a thing of the past and i don't care anymore. i know deep down i do, because i regret the mean things i said, but i'm happy i said them because the whole thing was useless and you were never going to change yr mind..
dad and aunt paula came out for dinner tonight. very nice. we had chinese. it was good to see her, she's one of my favorite relatives. they hung out here for a little, too, so that was nice. i'm happy that it wasn't like, eat and run. they are going to the poconos this weekend, so i wouldn't have had a chance to see her otherwise.
sooooo.. JOE is coming over. tonight. AHH. i IMed him this morning bc he had been in my dream, and i told him. so he asked what it was about when i was at work, and i responded like 45 mins ago that it was naughty. then he asked where i was living now, and said he'd stop by tonight "quick". sooo i doubt we'll do anything except hang out for a minute but i have high hopes that there is potential my dry spell will end tonight. however, when we were together a year ago (almost to the day! that was like oct 1!), it was a bad experience. i will definitely be putting on something sexy regardless. not noticeably sexy, i don't want him to think i dressed sexy for him! but sexy. anyway i def have my fingers crossed because i think my life would be so much happier and i wouldn't hate tom so much if i knew i had cheated on the feelings i have for him. he's on okcupid right now, anyway, probably chatting with some ladies. which is fine, because i don't give a fuck. he can have any other girl he wants. he is not going to have me.
joe won't be here until like midnight. i love that i don't have feelings for him anymore, but am still willing to stay up all night to hang out with him. tomorrow is friday, i can be as tired as i want. i just have to wake up on time. as long as i get through the day i can come home and nap!
i wonder if tom will text me before next friday comes. can he go 8 days without contact? i certainly won't break down. i have nothing to say to him anyway. i would say no, that i won't hear from him. i'll wait till after work on friday, too, like the evening, maybe even the night. because i don't care anymore! does my insistence that i don't care mean that i really truly do care?
my mind races at about 200mph while i try to convince myself that you are a thing of the past and i don't care anymore. i know deep down i do, because i regret the mean things i said, but i'm happy i said them because the whole thing was useless and you were never going to change yr mind..
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