Sunday, September 02, 2007
i'm not joking when i tell you, i'd miss you all the time.. i already miss you all the time
alkaline trio
alkaline trio
today is the tenth day since you left. i'm counting the day you left. and i woke up this morning, and i still cried. there are big wet spots on my pillow. all i can think about is how much i want to tell you i love you. i can't, though, and i have to stop coming to you with my crises.. i have to stop loving you.
the good news is that i had miscalculated the weeks until i see you again. it's 4 weeks and 6 days now. 34 days. still an impossible amount of time. three times the amount of days it's been, with 4 more than that even. luckily, those days will be consumed by work and not emptiness as the last ten have. i don't think it will help. i just want you to come back. i want you to think about being on the phone with me last night and laughing about things that we used to do or be or whatever. i want you to want me to be an active part of yr life.. but that can't be. you'd rather spend a saturday night home alone than with me. i can understand yr loner lifestyle, but i want it to be interspersed with me. i want you to see how much i love you and realize that you can't live without me. you won't. no matter how much i cry, no matter how many times i remind you that i love you, it won't change anything. you need to be single. that's a load of crap but i can't change yr mind.
last night i told you that jersey had two redeeming qualities. atlantic city and you. whereas long island apparently has none. you said you would give long island me and all american. i want to share my life with you. i want to curl up next to you while you hold my hand and we sleep.
but right now, what i want the most, is to forget i feel this way, and make it through one day without crying.
the good news is that i had miscalculated the weeks until i see you again. it's 4 weeks and 6 days now. 34 days. still an impossible amount of time. three times the amount of days it's been, with 4 more than that even. luckily, those days will be consumed by work and not emptiness as the last ten have. i don't think it will help. i just want you to come back. i want you to think about being on the phone with me last night and laughing about things that we used to do or be or whatever. i want you to want me to be an active part of yr life.. but that can't be. you'd rather spend a saturday night home alone than with me. i can understand yr loner lifestyle, but i want it to be interspersed with me. i want you to see how much i love you and realize that you can't live without me. you won't. no matter how much i cry, no matter how many times i remind you that i love you, it won't change anything. you need to be single. that's a load of crap but i can't change yr mind.
last night i told you that jersey had two redeeming qualities. atlantic city and you. whereas long island apparently has none. you said you would give long island me and all american. i want to share my life with you. i want to curl up next to you while you hold my hand and we sleep.
but right now, what i want the most, is to forget i feel this way, and make it through one day without crying.
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