Monday, September 24, 2007
so i am writing my own ending, i let me pen bleed black or blue
and i will color in the meaning
it will be gold and green and true
and i'll learn to love my new discovered proof
i'll be grateful for this day.. i will be grateful for each day to come..
bright eyes
and i will color in the meaning
it will be gold and green and true
and i'll learn to love my new discovered proof
i'll be grateful for this day.. i will be grateful for each day to come..
bright eyes
11 days. i don't feel good. my eyes are itchy and a little bit burny. and my throat is doing that thing where you have this feeling that yr gonna be sick. i don't have the sick taste, but it definitely wasn't comfortable. i'm not happy about this, but i'm looking forward to going to bed at 10. the latest!
so back to 11 days. that's so close i can practically touch it. i'm really proud of myself for making it this far without having a total nervous breakdown. just small ones along the way.. i'm used to not seeing him but i swear every time i think about him i get this unbearable longing. it has been exactly one month since i last saw him. he left about this time on august 24th. and i still love him as much as i did on the day he left. which is as much as i loved him before i went to georgia and we had the talk. it's an amazing feeling, and all i want is for it to be something i'm able to recognize instead of burying it deep inside and pretending it's not there each and every day. i'm positive that i have never, and will never, love anyone as much as i love tom right now.
the routine crap: i was late to work today. i was late to wake up, i woke up when i should have been leaving. i had to shower so i dealt with it and i rushed to get clean and dressed. got on the road figuring i would be a little late.. but apparently an electrical pole exploded or something and i ended up being VERY late. everyone was late though so not a problem. good day for this, since i had a very legitimate excuse. phew. work was ok, not too tough. my kids were fairly well behaved. no texts from tom, as i suppose he is living up to his claim to cut back. blah to that. went to cosi for lunch with heather where we discussed marriage and boys and the dude she is dating. it was fun. we decided that we have to go back one day to get s'mores. on my way home i couldn't resist texting tom since it took me like 8 years to go 15 miles due to the same shit as this morning. i hope it's fixed tomorrow because i don't want to deal with it. anyway overall it was a decent day.
ELEVEN DAYS. ELEVEN DAYS. ELEVEN DAYS!!!!
so back to 11 days. that's so close i can practically touch it. i'm really proud of myself for making it this far without having a total nervous breakdown. just small ones along the way.. i'm used to not seeing him but i swear every time i think about him i get this unbearable longing. it has been exactly one month since i last saw him. he left about this time on august 24th. and i still love him as much as i did on the day he left. which is as much as i loved him before i went to georgia and we had the talk. it's an amazing feeling, and all i want is for it to be something i'm able to recognize instead of burying it deep inside and pretending it's not there each and every day. i'm positive that i have never, and will never, love anyone as much as i love tom right now.
the routine crap: i was late to work today. i was late to wake up, i woke up when i should have been leaving. i had to shower so i dealt with it and i rushed to get clean and dressed. got on the road figuring i would be a little late.. but apparently an electrical pole exploded or something and i ended up being VERY late. everyone was late though so not a problem. good day for this, since i had a very legitimate excuse. phew. work was ok, not too tough. my kids were fairly well behaved. no texts from tom, as i suppose he is living up to his claim to cut back. blah to that. went to cosi for lunch with heather where we discussed marriage and boys and the dude she is dating. it was fun. we decided that we have to go back one day to get s'mores. on my way home i couldn't resist texting tom since it took me like 8 years to go 15 miles due to the same shit as this morning. i hope it's fixed tomorrow because i don't want to deal with it. anyway overall it was a decent day.
ELEVEN DAYS. ELEVEN DAYS. ELEVEN DAYS!!!!
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