Monday, November 05, 2007
i just want to sleep forever. i'm a waste of life lately. everything is a waste of time without you. i don't want to feel this way anymore. i mean, i do. i want to feel the love but i want it to be reciprocated. i don't want to feel the unrequitedness of it all. i just want to sleep.
i'm so useless for the past few weeks. i have this letter for irene, it's half written, and i'm like unable to sit down and write anything. everything is meaningless. i haven't been this much of a disaster in years. this scares me.
i'm talking to some dude online. i think the only reason i'm continuing the conversation is because he sort of annoys me and i feel like he's a safe non-bet. like i can go on a date with this guy and not feel bad about not feeling anything for him. i just don't connect with people. which is why if i don't die with tom, i'll have to die alone.
i wanted to go to bed at 10 tonight. it's 11 and i still have to wash up. i'm even a failure when it comes to things like getting to sleep. which is apparently all i want to do with my life! i also bought scratch off tickets today, something i wasn't supposed to do. i have no self control. this angers me.
ok so now i'm tired, scared, and angry. it's probably time to call it a night.
i'm so useless for the past few weeks. i have this letter for irene, it's half written, and i'm like unable to sit down and write anything. everything is meaningless. i haven't been this much of a disaster in years. this scares me.
i'm talking to some dude online. i think the only reason i'm continuing the conversation is because he sort of annoys me and i feel like he's a safe non-bet. like i can go on a date with this guy and not feel bad about not feeling anything for him. i just don't connect with people. which is why if i don't die with tom, i'll have to die alone.
i wanted to go to bed at 10 tonight. it's 11 and i still have to wash up. i'm even a failure when it comes to things like getting to sleep. which is apparently all i want to do with my life! i also bought scratch off tickets today, something i wasn't supposed to do. i have no self control. this angers me.
ok so now i'm tired, scared, and angry. it's probably time to call it a night.
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