Friday, December 28, 2007
aaahhh!!! tomorrow!!! in 18.5 hours i will be with stephan. probably nothing will happen. but i'm nervous and excited and a thousand other things all in once. i'm freaking out. i made a tupperware of cookies to bring. i am bringing my stupid would you rather book for giggles. i can't wait! i'm soooo freaking out though! aaaaahhhh!!! i don't know what my deal is. i need to just be ok with this, be cool. i just want this boy. and the anticipation is killing me. i wonder if it's killing him. i wonder if he's planning what he'll wear. argh. he'll probably just get up tomorrow morning and go through the motions of his day without thinking about what will happen that night. he's probably just expecting that we'll order some food, watch some movies.. maybe listen to some music. just be like it was the other time. but i want him so bad and i want him to want me.
next time we hang out, i will be inviting him over for karaoke. i know he likes to sing. it will be a great reason to have him over here, and it will give me more time to get my apartment to be clean and nice instead of a dismal mess.
i have been planning what i will wear all week. i'm going to wear my red shirt. not that you know this shirt. i always get compliments on it, from people i know, from strangers. it's very common. it's a cute shirt, it has pockets! and it's nice but not too nice. he always looks nice. collared shirts. i wonder if he'll be wearing one tomorrow. he always looks so put together. so adorable. so amazing. anyway, i will wear a tank top underneath because the one i have in mind gives my boobs some extra oomph! jeans. new underwear, black of course. red sneakers. this is the plan.
i'm really cold. this is normal, since i have the door open all the time. damn cigarettes. my apartment reeks lately. i haven't burned incense in a while, not since i stopped smoking pot. maybe i should just burn it for the fuck of it since now my apartment smells like cigs all the time. oh, i can't forget to pack my lavender and sage candles for steve!
my insides are a disaster, but i kind of love this feeling. let's not let it be for naught. i'm hoping beyond hope......
next time we hang out, i will be inviting him over for karaoke. i know he likes to sing. it will be a great reason to have him over here, and it will give me more time to get my apartment to be clean and nice instead of a dismal mess.
i have been planning what i will wear all week. i'm going to wear my red shirt. not that you know this shirt. i always get compliments on it, from people i know, from strangers. it's very common. it's a cute shirt, it has pockets! and it's nice but not too nice. he always looks nice. collared shirts. i wonder if he'll be wearing one tomorrow. he always looks so put together. so adorable. so amazing. anyway, i will wear a tank top underneath because the one i have in mind gives my boobs some extra oomph! jeans. new underwear, black of course. red sneakers. this is the plan.
i'm really cold. this is normal, since i have the door open all the time. damn cigarettes. my apartment reeks lately. i haven't burned incense in a while, not since i stopped smoking pot. maybe i should just burn it for the fuck of it since now my apartment smells like cigs all the time. oh, i can't forget to pack my lavender and sage candles for steve!
my insides are a disaster, but i kind of love this feeling. let's not let it be for naught. i'm hoping beyond hope......
Subscribe to Comments [Atom]