Friday, December 14, 2007
i hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips..
..and if you ever said you missed me, then don't say you never lied
brand new
..and if you ever said you missed me, then don't say you never lied
brand new
my insides are a disaster right now. i mean, a disaster. in 24 hours i will be sitting on a couch belonging to the boy who continually stomps my heart in new jersey, watching the nets play the knicks. i guess maybe we'll be getting ready to head over to see weston. i am a huge anxiety ball. my stomach keeps turning. i want to vomit. i'm so nervous that my mind is actually spinning.
am i strong enough for this? am i strong enough to kiss you goodbye? i mean, literally, i will kiss you. and i will say goodbye. i will cry all the way home. you are all i want out of this world, and i have to let you go. i can't move on until i do. i was talking to marisol today about this situation. she says you never get over it, you can only move on. this is the most true statement on the face of the planet. i will never get over you. you will always hold the largest piece of my heart available. a small remaining piece will go to some other man, eventually, i'm sure. but you will always hold the greatest portion in your hands.
tomorrow will come and i will see stephan. i can only hope that he is as cute and smells as good as he did when i met him in 2002. when i think about him, i still get a little flushed. i laugh a little when i think about how much i hated him when we met. i thought he was pretentious and cocky. but we smoked a cigarette together and he changed my mind. i wanted him so bad. but as my luck always works, he had a girlfriend. so i had to stop my feelings. it was easy, though, since at that moment, joe waltzed back into my life. in a large way. i never really was able to let go of steve, though, part of me always died while breathing in that incredible scent... wow. i'm excited to see him tomorrow, but i know it won't match what i feel for tom or what i felt for him 4 years ago. because that was a crush, simple adoration. this is love. it's love love love.
and need i mention how much i hate love?
am i strong enough for this? am i strong enough to kiss you goodbye? i mean, literally, i will kiss you. and i will say goodbye. i will cry all the way home. you are all i want out of this world, and i have to let you go. i can't move on until i do. i was talking to marisol today about this situation. she says you never get over it, you can only move on. this is the most true statement on the face of the planet. i will never get over you. you will always hold the largest piece of my heart available. a small remaining piece will go to some other man, eventually, i'm sure. but you will always hold the greatest portion in your hands.
tomorrow will come and i will see stephan. i can only hope that he is as cute and smells as good as he did when i met him in 2002. when i think about him, i still get a little flushed. i laugh a little when i think about how much i hated him when we met. i thought he was pretentious and cocky. but we smoked a cigarette together and he changed my mind. i wanted him so bad. but as my luck always works, he had a girlfriend. so i had to stop my feelings. it was easy, though, since at that moment, joe waltzed back into my life. in a large way. i never really was able to let go of steve, though, part of me always died while breathing in that incredible scent... wow. i'm excited to see him tomorrow, but i know it won't match what i feel for tom or what i felt for him 4 years ago. because that was a crush, simple adoration. this is love. it's love love love.
and need i mention how much i hate love?
Subscribe to Comments [Atom]