Monday, December 10, 2007

you have broken me, all the way down.. you'll be the last, you'll see.. (and) what chance have we got when you missed every shot from me? (and) in the morning when you turn in i'll be out of reach.. (and) in the darkness when you find this i'll be far to sea.. (and) you have broken me, all the way down
glen hansard

i hate you still. i don't know what's wrong with me. i don't know why you are still haunting me.

i wish you had forgotten me. why did you have to seek me out last year? reaching out to start something that would never mean anything to you, never amount to anything, never be anything more than some make out sessions? and when i fell in love, you ran for the door. yet you'll still lie to me and tell me you DO have feelings. though that hasn't happened in a month.

if i could, i would erase you. before, i would have liked to have kept the good memories of us. the day in montauk. our random visit to the fair, so i could have zeppoles. the nights in atlantic city. just being us, curled up on the couch together. everything that mattered, that made us perfect. but i just want them gone. i want to forget them and to forget you. this is so pointless, holding on to memories that are nothing but a sham. something i convinced myself was real. but nothing was real, it was all a lie.

you haven't contacted me in days. i've had to initiate every conversation for so long. two nets games have passed and without a word from you. you have already forgotten me.

you are probably in the arms of some other woman. a girl with big boobs, since those seem to be yr type on okc. well, i hope you fall in love with her. and i hope she shatters yr heart and makes you understand how it feels to be broken all the way down, so far down that the idea of EVER FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN is something that makes you cringe.

and don't come running back to me with the pieces of yr shattered heart in yr hands. just lay down and die because i won't be here. i won't be here. you will be erased.

i hate you so much that it is killing me inside. it feels like love, only it hurts a lot.

i will never mean anything to anyone. i don't want this anymore. i don't want any of it.


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