Sunday, January 20, 2008
let me just take a moment to reflect on how amazing the man in my life is. yesterday he came over at 630. we went out and got pizza. came back here, talked a little, laid on the floor together all cute like, and watched wordplay. we then did the friday times crossword together. so much goodness. i taped the completed puzzle into my paper journal. we played some dr. mario, watched the nets lose to the clippers, and went to bed. in bed he alluded to the future again, which i adored. still no sex, but i wanted him bad. it's been almost a month, and i'm very patient, but he makes it very hard to resist and remain patient. this morning we woke up at 930 and cuddled a whole lot. human blanket came out, which is my favorite. we finally got up at 1045, he made the cinnamon rolls and coffee, i went out and got the times. i came back and he had cleaned up the dishes in the sink again and folded the blanket on the couch. we did some crossword and then i had only an hour left until i had to leave so i decided it was time to cuddle some more. we laid on the couch and talked a little, i tried to get him to tell me why he likes hanging out with me, but he said "i don't think i need to talk about that right now" and i let it go. i'm dying to know. i want it to be something significant and big, but.. i don't know. when i had to leave, he wouldn't let me. finally i got up and got ready to go. he made himself more coffee and we said goodbye for like 10 minutes. i told him to leave some kisses behind for me. leaving was hard, mainly because it was early and i didn't want to go yet. but i went to am's baby shower and he stayed here for like an hour and half after i left because he had planned to go to his friends for dinner straight from here. i came home from the shower and this is what i found: kitchen clean, coffee pot washed and drying. blanket refolded and placed on the back of the couch. bed made. bathroom tidy, with towels folded nicely. Xs and Os surrounding my crossword puzzle. and my pillows smelling of gucci envy. it was amazing. he's the perfect man. the most perfect man on the face of the planet. a real keeper. i wish he was still here, but i realize he can't be. i want to see more of him, but i realize i can't. i want to know if it's ok for me to really fall for him. because at this point, i am. and i'm beginning to need to know what the future holds. he likes me. we talked about our dress up day, he alluded to the future, he CLEARLY likes me. but ... that whole non-emotional commitment thing. this is killing me. i'm trying to keep cool and not get too involved, but. i know it's only been three solid weeks, but it feels like forever and it feels so right. i wonder what he says about me to his friends. i wonder if i'll meet them. he made reference to us watching the super bowl together. i just need to hold out to the end of february. if nothing happens in regards to us talking about us before then i probably have full reign to ask. 5 more weeks. it's been four weekends in a row and he definitely still wants to spend the weekends with me. we'll see if next weekend happens. there are so many things i want to do with him. drive out to briermere farms and buy a pie, eat it while looking out at the long island sound. go to norway. you know. i get so happy just watching him talk about the things he dreams about.. his dream job of being a tugboat captain. seeing places in the world. he lights up. i want to make him light up. he brought me a ronettes cd to copy. he left that album insert with me. he has plans to see me again. obviously.
i'm falling head over heels.
this could be a disaster.
or it could be the best thing that ever happened to me. ever.
i'm falling head over heels.
this could be a disaster.
or it could be the best thing that ever happened to me. ever.
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