Friday, October 17, 2008
i want you back
the honorary title
never been so eager, not to this extent
can't imagine leaving, i'm comfortably obsessed
it seems misleading, such a far stretch
but i mean every word i've said
the honorary title
ok. so i'm sort of bugging out. why, oh why, you ask? because a certain MAN OF MY DREAMS has invited himself over to my apartment on sunday. note: invited himself. not me. him. this is what happened: i texted him to tell him that smashing pumpkins are playing some shows next month and it's supposed to be like old stuff for their 20th anniversary. so he responded saying he had heard, and wasn't going. i didn't plan to go, either, i saw them in 1996 when they were playing those songs, too ha. anyway, he asked how i'm enjoying the book he lent me, brighton rock by graham greene. i said i liked it so far, but was only on page 85 bc i've been super sick all week. long story short, he asked if i needed anything, i said i didn't think so, he said he had just been looking at a recipe for potato leek soup, i said that's one of my favorites.. he said it looked easy, the hardest part would be getting it here, but that he could make it happen. so i was like "that's super sweet, but i don't want to ask you to come all the way here.. i'm so tempted though, i love potato leek!" and he said he could make it happen on sunday, that he was really sick last week and he knows how it is. then he even said he would stop and pick up the newspapers for me, so i don't have to leave the house! oh.my.god. WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME? those are the sweetest gestures. we haven't seen each other in a month. i'm dying here. literally, dying. i am so excited. it's absurd. i can't believe it. i gave him SO MANY chances to be like "well, i was just seeing" or "ok, just checking" instead of offering to make homemade soup and deliver it to me with my newspapers and everything. and he's bringing some comedy dvd. i don't understand. after all of our exchange of emails regarding the mike thing (did i talk about this? hope so..) and me saying that when he finds his definition of love in someone she's gonna be a very lucky girl, and then for him to do all this.. it makes me intensely jealous. because for him, i'm sure this is some bizarre friend thing, not him being the world's most perfect boyfriend. i want this. no one has EVER offered to bring me soup when i was sick, let alone cross state lines to bring me soup two days in the future. and the papers! oh my. i texted lindsay but she must be busy. i called my mom, but she was going to get a movie with helen. i don't really have any other friends to talk to i know lindsEy is out with work people, and heather is at a wedding that she is in.. obviously can't talk to tom or mike since they're in love with me for some bizarro reason. what i really want is to call my therapist, but something about that is unsettling to me. i'm certainly going to have plenty to talk about on monday! i could call katie. i actually might. i'm going crazy here. ok, dinner and jeopardy. OH! MY! GOD! i'm bursting here hahaha :D
xoxoxo
xoxoxo
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