Monday, December 29, 2008
i think it's really funny that the first example tag below is "scooters". really? scooters? people blog about that? interesting. maybe i should read other people's blogs. i used to do that.
so i'm watching what not to wear and i'm tired. i'm content overall, the holidays weren't as stressful as usual. rachel is the cutest baby on the planet, and i loved holding her. she's precious and she's pretty quiet. i'm looking forward to seeing her grow up!
steve and i have been back together since the last time i posted. i have strangely little to say about that. it's not easy. relationships are worse than being single. at least when yr alone you don't have to worry about someone else's happiness. maybe i'm inherently a selfish person. but at the same time, i'd rather be with him than be alone. mostly because he's amazing and i'm totally in love, but that doesn't negate the amount of work we have to put into this for it to work. this week we spent five consecutive days together, the first time for us to spend more than 3 days, and those time it's been like, a night, a day and a morning. i went over his place early on christmas and stayed through til saturday morning. we had a lazy day on christmas then we went to dinner at his friend's. he got me a framed print of the death of socrates (my fave) and i got him a framed print of a painting of a crow. they're his favorite bird. i thought it was cute that we each got the other art! i spent the night thursday and hung around his apartment while he was at work friday. he came home and we had dinner, took a little nap, he went to a meeting and i watched the nets game. he came home unhappy bc his mother had called him, so he played his computer game and i watched basketball and did a crossword. i stayed again friday night, spent the morning saturday and came home mid-afternoon saturday. i did nothing saturday night, cleaned and took care of errands sunday. i cooked some food and he came over around 8 sunday night. we did crosswords, watched a movie, and went to bed. he today off to hand out with me while i was off! we had a discussion about intimicy which was annoying but stuff we have to work out somehow eventually.. then we went to the aquarium, he was all in his head the whole time and it wasn't much fun for me. when we got back, he wanted to leave so he could make his meeting. this is something i'm going to have to learn to deal with if i want this, him fleeing to meetings when he's frustrated. but we made plans when i walked him to his car for me to go over to his place on wednesday for new years. so two nights apart and then back together. then the weekend! so i'm happy with seeing him a lot, i really enjoyed it despite today's drama. he's so affectionate, i love just laying with him on the couch, sometimes he just cuddles my feet, or friday night when i was doing the puzzle he came over to help me and laid on my back. or last night, when we got into bed, he said, "i was awfully lonely last night!".. that's so sweet, we spent one night apart and he, in his round-about way, told me he missed me. these things are what i love about us, how he can play his game and i can do a puzzle, and sometimes we'll go by each other and be affectionate.. yet we can also just cuddle together and be super happy. so i'll overlook the bad because the work is worth it. he's what i want, he's all i've wanted for 6 years, and i'm not really going to throw it all away because there are a couple hitches. that would be insane. he's met my family, he came over for christmas at my dads a couple weeks ago (they do it early to accomodate the growth of our family) and got my dad's stamp of approval, which he claims to be "key to the whole operation." he took me to a meeting a couple of weeks ago, i met his sponsor and his good friend mark. he came to a school function with me and met lindsay.. we're definitely progressing. whenever we have these little rough spots and i get worried that i've said the wrong thing he assures me that he's not going anywhere. i'm trying to trust him when he says that, just enjoy our time rather than fearing the consequences of what could happen. blah blah blah. basically i'm in love and i'd like to keep things the way they are for the rest of my life. well, except that we'll live together and be married and have a family. ha.
personal trainer cooking? what? can't you just follow a recipe? you need a wii in order to make food? interesting...
six more days til one tree hill comes back on! YAY! it's been four whole weeks!!! and now i'm down to a six-day wait! yippee. i'm pretty psyched.
man it's 11:11pm. i have to bring my car in for inspection and an oil change tomorrow. i'd like to fast forward tomorrow and get to wednesday so i can see my man. spending this much time together is going to be bad in the long run, next week we'll have to go back to weekends until february unless this run of seeing each other extra makes him want to try weeknights together. i can do it. i'd be willing to get up early and drive to great neck from nj. i can probably skip manhattan and do the GW bridge to the throgs neck and get to work in a reasonable amount of time. i need to get an EZpass, but i don't really have available credit to pay the tolls. i could prob just link it my debit since i always take out cash to pay the tolls anyway. i should do that like tomorrow. my life would be infinitely more easy, i think about this EVERY TIME i'm sitting in the cash lane at the lincoln tunnel plaza and there is NO LINE for the EZPass lane. if i wasn't so lazy i might do it right now. you probably need yr car info. which i don't think i have.
anyway. married..with children time and then bed.. happy new year!!!
so i'm watching what not to wear and i'm tired. i'm content overall, the holidays weren't as stressful as usual. rachel is the cutest baby on the planet, and i loved holding her. she's precious and she's pretty quiet. i'm looking forward to seeing her grow up!
steve and i have been back together since the last time i posted. i have strangely little to say about that. it's not easy. relationships are worse than being single. at least when yr alone you don't have to worry about someone else's happiness. maybe i'm inherently a selfish person. but at the same time, i'd rather be with him than be alone. mostly because he's amazing and i'm totally in love, but that doesn't negate the amount of work we have to put into this for it to work. this week we spent five consecutive days together, the first time for us to spend more than 3 days, and those time it's been like, a night, a day and a morning. i went over his place early on christmas and stayed through til saturday morning. we had a lazy day on christmas then we went to dinner at his friend's. he got me a framed print of the death of socrates (my fave) and i got him a framed print of a painting of a crow. they're his favorite bird. i thought it was cute that we each got the other art! i spent the night thursday and hung around his apartment while he was at work friday. he came home and we had dinner, took a little nap, he went to a meeting and i watched the nets game. he came home unhappy bc his mother had called him, so he played his computer game and i watched basketball and did a crossword. i stayed again friday night, spent the morning saturday and came home mid-afternoon saturday. i did nothing saturday night, cleaned and took care of errands sunday. i cooked some food and he came over around 8 sunday night. we did crosswords, watched a movie, and went to bed. he today off to hand out with me while i was off! we had a discussion about intimicy which was annoying but stuff we have to work out somehow eventually.. then we went to the aquarium, he was all in his head the whole time and it wasn't much fun for me. when we got back, he wanted to leave so he could make his meeting. this is something i'm going to have to learn to deal with if i want this, him fleeing to meetings when he's frustrated. but we made plans when i walked him to his car for me to go over to his place on wednesday for new years. so two nights apart and then back together. then the weekend! so i'm happy with seeing him a lot, i really enjoyed it despite today's drama. he's so affectionate, i love just laying with him on the couch, sometimes he just cuddles my feet, or friday night when i was doing the puzzle he came over to help me and laid on my back. or last night, when we got into bed, he said, "i was awfully lonely last night!".. that's so sweet, we spent one night apart and he, in his round-about way, told me he missed me. these things are what i love about us, how he can play his game and i can do a puzzle, and sometimes we'll go by each other and be affectionate.. yet we can also just cuddle together and be super happy. so i'll overlook the bad because the work is worth it. he's what i want, he's all i've wanted for 6 years, and i'm not really going to throw it all away because there are a couple hitches. that would be insane. he's met my family, he came over for christmas at my dads a couple weeks ago (they do it early to accomodate the growth of our family) and got my dad's stamp of approval, which he claims to be "key to the whole operation." he took me to a meeting a couple of weeks ago, i met his sponsor and his good friend mark. he came to a school function with me and met lindsay.. we're definitely progressing. whenever we have these little rough spots and i get worried that i've said the wrong thing he assures me that he's not going anywhere. i'm trying to trust him when he says that, just enjoy our time rather than fearing the consequences of what could happen. blah blah blah. basically i'm in love and i'd like to keep things the way they are for the rest of my life. well, except that we'll live together and be married and have a family. ha.
personal trainer cooking? what? can't you just follow a recipe? you need a wii in order to make food? interesting...
six more days til one tree hill comes back on! YAY! it's been four whole weeks!!! and now i'm down to a six-day wait! yippee. i'm pretty psyched.
man it's 11:11pm. i have to bring my car in for inspection and an oil change tomorrow. i'd like to fast forward tomorrow and get to wednesday so i can see my man. spending this much time together is going to be bad in the long run, next week we'll have to go back to weekends until february unless this run of seeing each other extra makes him want to try weeknights together. i can do it. i'd be willing to get up early and drive to great neck from nj. i can probably skip manhattan and do the GW bridge to the throgs neck and get to work in a reasonable amount of time. i need to get an EZpass, but i don't really have available credit to pay the tolls. i could prob just link it my debit since i always take out cash to pay the tolls anyway. i should do that like tomorrow. my life would be infinitely more easy, i think about this EVERY TIME i'm sitting in the cash lane at the lincoln tunnel plaza and there is NO LINE for the EZPass lane. if i wasn't so lazy i might do it right now. you probably need yr car info. which i don't think i have.
anyway. married..with children time and then bed.. happy new year!!!
Subscribe to Comments [Atom]